When I first started this blog, I actually looked for this ad because it was still on television and I found it absolutely horrifying. I stumbled upon it on YouTube just the other day and figured better late than never. Let's talk about this ridiculous family and the lengths it goes to to be as inert as possible.
The guy and his wife complain that the signal from their satellite dish or antennae was being blocked by the foliage in their backyard. Because Television Uber Alles, the guy actually got himself outside in the fresh air and sunshine and did some physical work that didn't involve scrolling (this was 2003, after all- scrolling wasn't really a thing yet.) At least, I think he did- he says that in response to a $400 estimate for tree clearage he "did some pruning." Oh, who am I kidding- he means he paid other people to do that work. While he worked on that dad-shaped dent in the couch.
After all these efforts, he had a natural wooden pole where a tree used to be and I guess the signal still wasn't very good, so the family decided to go back to cable. We are told this as a way-too-big toddler lurches across the screen (at the 24 second mark, certainly the saddest moment in this entire commercial,) already exhibiting the consequences of being a member of this disgusting family.
Because, I'm sorry, but we can't ignore the elephant in the room: This television-obsessed family is morbidly obese, and the very last thing it needs is more Sedentary Time in front of the Boob Tube. This will sound dark but I actually have to wonder if the adult male and female in this ad are even still alive today. They look like walking- or wobbling- Diabetes. And how did those kids turn out? Are they chips off the old block of lard? Are they currently as into Netflix and staring at their phones as mom and dad were in watching cable tv?
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