Monday, August 10, 2009

Michael Jordan, Stalkers, and Underwear

Hanes Briefs Commercial # 1: Cuba Gooding Jr. receives a gift of underwear from Michael Jordan, complete with a card which reads "hope you enjoy the underwear" (or something like that.)

Quick aside: Why is Michael Jordan giving Cuba Gooding Jr. underwear? I mean, I know that Gooding's acting career hasn't exactly panned out like he planned ( remember Jerry Maguire? Of course you do. Remember Radio? Of course you don't. How about Shadowboxer? The Fighting Temptations? Didn't think so.) But according to IMDB, he's appearing in a lot of films, so he's drawing a paycheck. So what's the deal?

Hanes Briefs Commercial # 2: Charlie Sheen really, really, REALLY wants to thank Michael Jordan for turning him on to the comfort and style of Hanes. All Jordan wants to do is to put his golf clubs in the back of his convertible and continue with his gold-plated retirement. Sheen says that they should get together, do lunch sometime. Jordan is non-commital. Sheen is so anxious to hook up with Jordan in the near future that he tosses his cell phone into the back of Jordan's car as the former NBA star drives off.

Charlie Sheen has something in common with Cuba Gooding Jr.- he's not a successful movie star. Back in the eighties he played the leading role in a few mildly successful flicks- mostly light comedies in the by-now-beaten-to-death spoof genre, but his film career has essentially tanked. But he's a very successful tv star (God knows why- there's no accounting for taste.) I'm sure he has no problem finding ways to rub shoulders with the great and near-great; so why is he begging for a date with Michael Jordan? I mean, this guy was married to Denise Richards once!

You know who would have been a better choice for Charlie Sheen's role in this commercial? Emilio Estevez. I can totally see Estevez begging for the opportunity to spend time with Michael Jordan. Think Sheen has his number?



    You'd think he'd have thought this through before he said it.

    "You like Thai barbecue?" "Uhhhhhh... NO. Gotta go."

    Really? Thai barbecue? That's the best man date line you can come up with? FAIL.

  2. Know the best way to avoid having people find out that you buy underwear for other guys? DON'T BUY UNDERWEAR FOR OTHER GUYS.

  3. Then there are the Hanes for Women ads in which Sara Chalke comments on women adjusting their wedgies.

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