Monday, August 24, 2009

What kind of "Party" is this?

Here's a guy walking through an opulent-looking house filled with people engaged in conversation, holding a bag of Chex Party Mix (maybe. I think it's Chex Mix. It hardly matters.) His problem: People keep sticking their hands in his bag of snacks. They are eating his Chex Mix! What a bunch of jerks!

The narrator offers a helpful solution: Stick your bag of GOOD snacks into a bag of "Boring Chips." Seriously, the Brand X-style bag is labeled "boring chips." Presto, the guy is now free to walk about the house, chatting it up with people, with no fear that any of the other guests will want any of his well-disguised GOOD snacks.

Um, huh? Raise your hand if you've ever been to a "party" which is not merely BYOB, but also requests that you bring your own snacky-type foods, too. Who threw this party? What did the invitation say- "hey, come to my house Saturday night. I'm asking everyone to bring whatever they want to eat and drink, and to eat and drink it at my house?" I've been to parties where I've been asked to bring a dish of something for everyone to share. I've been to parties where people have brought snacks which are then poured into big bowls and placed in centralized locations. I've never been to a party where people bring their own snacks and walk around hoarding them.

I've got a suggestion for this selfish pig: the best way to avoid having to share ANYTHING is to avoid human contact. The next time you get an invitation to attend a weird "bring your own Everything" party, just politely decline and stay at home with your precious snacks. Trust me, you won't be missed.


  1. That's an ad for Chex Mix, I think. I agree -- who really goes to a party to keep grabbing from a bag that someone else is holding? If the guy's got the bag in his hands, it's HIS -- would you take a glass from someone else's hand and drink from that?

  2. Thanks, I edited my post.

    And again- why did this guy go to a party just so he could walk around with his own bag of snacks? If I were at that party, I would just ASSUME that he was offering the snacks in his hand to everyone. Otherwise, why is he carrying it?

  3. Or better yet, do the whole thing via videoconference. Then you can watch other people enjoying their food without the risk of them getting at your own.