Monday, August 24, 2009

Progressive Insurance: Where are the Damned Windows??

These ads for Progressive Insurance really creep me out. For one thing, each one features the same scary-pale brunette who looks like she ought to be auditioning for the community theatre's upcoming presentation of Snow White. Seriously, does she EVER get outside?

Secondly, the "store" in these ads look like the inside of a florescent bulb, or that lab where Mike Teevee got turned into a billion floating specks in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. Shouldn't they be handing out sunglasses at the door?

Third, if the dope who asks about discounts is planning on buying Online ("DISCOUNT!"), why is he even there, talking to the scary-pale brunette? Isn't the reason that the "store" is gleaming white is that it's supposed to be a representation of a web site anyway? I'm so confused.

Fourth, the "guy hogging the remote" bit: Congratulations, Progressive- you somehow managed to fit in the prerequisite "all men are self-absorbed idiots, watch as their women roll their eyes in resigned disgust" message in.

--and on a related snark, the little balding man who asks "what if mother won't let me drive?" Um, why are you in this commercial? Oh yes, to play Beaten Down P-whipped Guy. Ever think of doing any yogurt commercials?

Fifth, the "name your own price" gag? Please. I go on to and type in that I want to pay a hundred dollars a year for car insurance. responds that no insurance is available at that price. Yeah, that makes me feel "empowered." You know what, I can save big money on my food budget too, if I just quit eating. And I can "name my own price" for rent by living in a piano box. Give me a break.

And I didn't even get to the "you must be interested in motorcycle insurance" ad, where the Scary-Pale girl brags about her bike. No need. These ads have already worn out their welcome, and need to go, now.

If only we could find a way to get Scary-Pale girl to take that Gecko and the Cavemen with her....


  1. "...And Scary-White, the Gecko and the Cavemen went into their cathode-ray palace and lived happily ever after."

  2. The woman who plays Flo in those Progressive ads is actually a very talented performer. Her name is Stephanie Courtney and she's a member of the Groundlings. There are several You Tube clips available that show her taking part in improv on stage. She's very good.

    It's unfortunate that she not only does these ads, which clearly fail to showcase her talent, but actually appeared in an episode of the show based on the GEICO Cavemen.

  3. Progressive is crooked as hell. They pulled their ever-so-popular Bait and Switch on me recently. They waited 2 months into a policy to tack on $300 to my premium. My driving record is perfect and they couldn't give me a legitimate excuse why they did it other than "policy changes".

    Better watch this company. Even better, watch them all. Its getting more and more apparent that these private insurance companies are just another nest of rodents that need to be exterminated from the world. We need government run insurance of all kinds that THEY can pay for. They force this shit on us so they themselves need to pay for it.

  4. "Secondly, the "store" in these ads look like the inside of a florescent bulb,"

    No it doesn't. The fluorescent materials produce only ultraviolet light, and the bulb's interior would thus be quite dark. The only part of the bulb this store looks like is the phosephorescent layer which translates the UV to visible light.