Sunday, July 31, 2011

The TV-less walk from the living room to the driveway must be a living hell

You know, it's not super-obnoxious that all these Xfinity commercials use stupid graphics that are fast becoming ho-hum boring been there done that what else you got in terms of keeping our attention. After a while, it's easy to just let your eyes glass over- especially when you realize that all these "cool" graphics are there to make a very simple point- that Xfinity offers the opportunity to avoid exercise, conversation, sex and everything else that makes life worthwhile while you watch Season 8 of "The Office" for the 23rd time.

I'd rather focus on one very painfully obvious, though not mentioned, little catch that goes along with the "watch everywhere, watch anywhere, watch all the freaking time" Xfinity theme: to use this Amazingly Convenient New Technology which allows you to pause and change rooms, pause and change rooms, pause and change rooms over and over again in a way which makes the Amazing Convenient New Technology at all useful, one must live in a house with a lot of rooms and have the wherewithal to purchase a lot of television sets.

I mean, I have a big apartment, but it's only one bedroom. Besides the one bedroom, I have a tiny living room, a den for my office, a tiny kitchen and a walk in closet. So if I got this Xfinity package, I would almost feel compelled to Pause and Resume my way around a place where I can see the Only Television I Currently Own from almost every vantage point right now. (In fact, I think that if I had four additional televisions installed, I would probably end up being able to watch at least two or three at the same time. Besides feeling like I'm Winston Smith in "1984.")

Or maybe Xfinity is so expensive, it's really only available to people who own big houses furnished with six big screen televisions already?

Ok, maybe this whole "now you can have more fun in your House With More Televisions Than Chairs" theme is what is really bothering me here. Why do these people feel the need to wander around like this? What is so hard about sitting in the ONE damn room devoted to television viewing? Is it Restless Leg Syndrome? Because You Can Syndrome? What?

1 comment:

  1. I ascribe it to "Having Gee-whiz Gadgetry for its own stupid sake despite it having no earthly use" syndrome. The idea seems to be to tell the end user "People already think you're an asshole with way too much money so why not prove them right?"