Saturday, July 2, 2011

Willy Loman's home life was warmer than this

I suppose that this commercial is funny as long as you don't try to imagine for a minute that this might actually resemble real life for some people.

First, we have two soulless, personality-deficient potatoes referring to the time they didn't have cable as "the Dark Ages." Yeah, how horrible that must have been- you'd think it meant a year of talking, sex, taking walks, sex, reading, sex, and sex. Except...

We are "treated" to a scene of their life during the Dark Ages- zombie mom, desperate to find something- ANYTHING- worth watching so that she doesn't have to acknowledge her husband's sexual advances, scrolls through the offerings bleating "" Husband seems willing to start Life Without Constant Television, but Zombie Wife is having none of it.

And another scene which is not only sad, not only insulting, but actually draw-droppingly stupid: Mom and Daughter are trying to watch television, and Dad- having long since given up being anything to Mom but a Provider of Television- is on the roof adjusting the dish. In a rain storm. That's right- Dad is on the roof manipulating a large metal object, during a rain storm. And when he falls off the roof, it's LOL EPIC when Mom and Daughter don't notice. Well, I guess it's better than dad being FRIED by a BOLT OF LIGHTNING. Although if I was this guy, I might welcome the sweet release of death.

I'm not even going to comment on the "new use for the dish." I'm sure it's as LOL EPIC to the trogs who post YouTube comments as the rest of the ad.

So the message of this commercial is "life without television is barely worth living, because it kind of forces you to interact with your (snigger) 'loved ones.'" Super.

(BTW, how on earth was that daughter produced? Must have been a byproduct of another "Dark Ages.")


  1. I keep hearing Springsteen in my head: "57 channels and nothing on." That's because these idiots would probably rather watch a channel dedicated to watching grout mildew than interact with the people around them.

  2. There was a time in my life when we couldn't afford cable. My kids were under the age of five at the time (I was pregnant with one of them). They watched "Sesame Street" and I read to them and I took them for walks and to the park.

    Then, we got Army quarters on base and could afford cable. I still read to them and took them to the (much cleaner and safer) park. But, after we got cable, we stopped having kids. I wonder...