Sunday, October 16, 2011

What's Missing Here?

If you guessed "redeeming social value," you'd be right, but that's not what I'm looking for. Hey, it's my third post of the day, so I'm not going for "deep" here.

And it's not "a good reason to buy one of these phones," either, though you'd be right with that guess, too. Watching downloaded movies on a three-inch screen justifies a vanity purchase like this stupid little toy? Really? No. And if you don't "need" to have the option of watching television or movies every fucking second of every fucking day, I don't see what makes either of these phones superior to my FREE flip phone. (If you DO feel that you need access to electronic entertainment all the time, no matter where you are, please seek professional help and stop helping these companies wreck society, ok?)

It's not the price, because if you are in the market for one of these things, you don't care about the price. You just see the commercial, haul your sorry ass to the store, open up your wallet and tell the undereducated twenty-something at the register "yes, I'm back for my ninth upgrade this year. Just take whatever you need out of this leather thing."

No- what I'm looking for- but never really expecting to see- is nothing more complicated than a SET OF FRICKING HEADPHONES. Seriously, what the HELL is the matter with you, people? Go ahead and indulge in your obsession with your idiotic toys. Watch television and movies until your eyes fall out of their sockets for all I care. But with the last surviving part of your brain that is not dedicated to instant gratification and social withdrawal, try to remember that you are in a PUBLIC PLACE surrounded by people who DON'T SHARE YOUR SAD ADDICTION TO ELECTRONIC STIMULATION. Watch your wonderful movies with the exploding cars and everything going smashy-smashy. Feel free to be so engrossed that you step in front of buses and trains (I mean it, I hate all of you that much.) But for God's Sake, give me SOME sign that you are aware that there are OTHER PEOPLE ON THE PLANET and they would like to get from Point A to Point B without being assaulted with whatever you are trying to use to stop the awful echoes of nothingness bouncing around inside your skull, losers.

Come on, Cell phone companies. I know you hate us. But would it be so hard to show these people using ear buds? If it would help, I'd remind you that they don't really work very well.


  1. Given that I see so many themed earbuds, you'd think that consumer electronics firms would leap at the chance to claim that their particular brand of earphones are superior to the other identical works of their competitors.

  2. The commercials for headphones I see never talk about how well they protect other people from the sound of the music the wearer is listening to; I think they just assume that the customer simply doesn't give a damn and is only interested in wearing them because the device they carry doesn't come with speakers.