Sunday, March 4, 2012

I miss "Tastes Like Love," myself

Well, I guess if McDonalds can show us blonde white girls working as cashiers, and Red Lobster can show us beautiful young women gushing about what a joy it is to tell people about Tonight's Special, and CashStop can pretend that twentysomething white men wearing suit jackets and ties make up the bulk of their customer base, I guess we can get used to the site of yuppie-types working in the fields.

Of course, it only works if the fantasy of young white people doing agricultural labor is combined with the fantasy that what they are harvesting is-- Ginger Ale. Because you simply are not going to find handsome white people working their butts off to bring in any actual crop. Not in any country which does not also feature Unicorn shops on every other corner. Bubbly soda? Much more believable.*

Coming next: DINK archetypes "harvest" their local Fresh Fields shop for brie, organic coffee, and that wonderful bottled water that they had in Aspen last Christmas which makes Avian taste like it comes out of a rusty tap. On their way out, they congratulate each other for being fortunate enough to avoid the crowds at Trader Joe's or (shudder) Giant Food.

On a not-really-related topic: thanks anyway, Canada, for offering us the opportunity to build a 1500-mile pipeline over OUR aquifer from North Dakota to Houston to be refined (Houston conveniently being a port city, go figure) and sent out to be sold on the world market. I guess you'll be following up on your "threat" to build the pipeline across your own country's most productive farmland to Vancouver- where it will be sent out and sold in the world market. I guess that's what you'll do- but I'm not putting any money on it. Not with an election on the horizon and President Never Met a Progressive Principle He Wasn't Willing to Throw under the Bus in the White House already. You are much more likely to just wait out our momentary lapse into common sense. Good plan- it never lasts very long.

*Also believable, as well as 100 percent predictable: the parade of "What is that song I want that song I need that song SONG PLEASE" losers flooding the YouTube comments section under this commercial. What the hell IS it with you people? You all have MP3 players with 99% more capacity than you need, and you're desperately trying to justify the expense, or what?


  1. There's an article in the latest issue of Mother Jones about the impact of Alabama's immigration laws on farms and one of the farmers interviewed talked about how hard it is to find people to work legally because they can't work at the pace necessary and most quit after a day or two because of how hard and demanding the work is.

    In reference to your comment about MP3 players, the only reason I can think of to have an MP3 player that holds more than one or two hundred songs is to have one central place you keep all your audio files as a backup. For everyday use, an iPod shuffle or a basic iPod with enough space for a movie, if video is your thing, is enough. I have a Shuffle that holds 500 songs and it's not even half full. When the selection starts to get stale, I plug it into my computer and change up the playlist.

  2. I heard a comedian once tell his audience that a salesman tried to sell him an MP3 player that held "five thousand songs." He told the salesman, "well thank goodness, because if I ever take a trip to, oh, I don't know, THE SUN, God forbid I should have to listen to the same song twice!"

  3. Don't thank me. Thank an idiot prime minister in thrall to the oil barons of his home province of Alberta, land of the Wild Red Neck. Dumbass clearly wishes that the moron right were in charge down there so he could send Canadians to get slaughtered when the Teabaggers wreck the world locking horns with Tehran.

    1. Dreaded, you are still so much better off than we are. Come next January, we will either have

      1) a President in the pocket of big business and the 1%, bending over backward to give the right wing whatever it wants while working hard to gut Medicare, Social Security and the rest of the social safety net, or

      2) Mitt Romney, doing the same thing.

  4. As far as I can tell the "song" in this ad was just part of one verse and it was written for this commercial.

    American commercialism being what it is, the natural response to so many people asking about the song will be to finish the rest of the verses, add a chorus and offer it for sale.

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