Sunday, March 4, 2012
I miss "Tastes Like Love," myself
Well, I guess if McDonalds can show us blonde white girls working as cashiers, and Red Lobster can show us beautiful young women gushing about what a joy it is to tell people about Tonight's Special, and CashStop can pretend that twentysomething white men wearing suit jackets and ties make up the bulk of their customer base, I guess we can get used to the site of yuppie-types working in the fields.
Of course, it only works if the fantasy of young white people doing agricultural labor is combined with the fantasy that what they are harvesting is-- Ginger Ale. Because you simply are not going to find handsome white people working their butts off to bring in any actual crop. Not in any country which does not also feature Unicorn shops on every other corner. Bubbly soda? Much more believable.*
Coming next: DINK archetypes "harvest" their local Fresh Fields shop for brie, organic coffee, and that wonderful bottled water that they had in Aspen last Christmas which makes Avian taste like it comes out of a rusty tap. On their way out, they congratulate each other for being fortunate enough to avoid the crowds at Trader Joe's or (shudder) Giant Food.
On a not-really-related topic: thanks anyway, Canada, for offering us the opportunity to build a 1500-mile pipeline over OUR aquifer from North Dakota to Houston to be refined (Houston conveniently being a port city, go figure) and sent out to be sold on the world market. I guess you'll be following up on your "threat" to build the pipeline across your own country's most productive farmland to Vancouver- where it will be sent out and sold in the world market. I guess that's what you'll do- but I'm not putting any money on it. Not with an election on the horizon and President Never Met a Progressive Principle He Wasn't Willing to Throw under the Bus in the White House already. You are much more likely to just wait out our momentary lapse into common sense. Good plan- it never lasts very long.
*Also believable, as well as 100 percent predictable: the parade of "What is that song I want that song I need that song SONG PLEASE" losers flooding the YouTube comments section under this commercial. What the hell IS it with you people? You all have MP3 players with 99% more capacity than you need, and you're desperately trying to justify the expense, or what?