Saturday, March 31, 2012

Let me see if I've got this right, Taco Bell

Taco Bell introduced some Dorito/Taco Hybrid thing in "just a few cities," cruelly denying it to classless, tasteless trailer trash who think this junk is worth eating.

Matt and his friends were so obsessed with shoveling this crap into their cake holes that they drove 900 miles in a 1970 Plymouth wagon to find a Taco Bell "restaurant" participating in this limited time offer. In keeping with the whole Retro mood of the advertisement, Matt and his friends didn't find the store using a talking GPS App on their Smart Phones- nope, they struggled with an old fashioned gas station map. Aww, these kids are such throwbacks, aren't they?

Let's hope that driving an ancient car and using laughably outdated navigation technology also allowed them to experience equally antiquated gas prices. I'm trying to imagine how much it would cost to haul this boat 900 miles at four bucks a gallon.

Or how many days it would take. Or why these loathsome slacker idiots have so much free time on their hands that they can devote a week to traveling halfway across the country to pick up a bag of greasy meat packaged in over-sized snack chips.

Coming next: Matt and his friends drive a 1969 Volkswagen Bus to Saskatchewan for half a dozen McRib sandwiches and St Patrick's Day milkshakes. Because they aren't available any closer to the suburb he and his fellow knobs currently occupy. Personally, I'd prefer that they undertake the journey in a Corvair. Step on the gas, kids- it's safe at any speed!


  1. I just wish that they'd enjoy something else from the early seventies: getting shipped off to Vietnam so that they could get zipped by Charlie at a hot LZ.

  2. One "friend" gives the driver a back rub. Later, the driver gives a "friend" in the passenger seat a poke in the ear to wake him up. Their so gosh-darned adorable and playful, I hope the canyon they drive into isn't TOO deep.

  3. Nevermind the absolutely atrocious use of Spanglish...Locos Tacos...should be Tacos Locos with the right Spanish syntax...and Live Mas...Que horror!