Sunday, March 18, 2012

I thought that every day was HogFest at Cici's?

Gee, I wonder what insurance that pig is carrying?

And now, I'm wondering if Cici's has insurance against trademark infringement.

And NOW, I'm wondering how Cici's pulls off pretending that there's something "special" and "different" going on at their "restaurant" this month just because they are adding a pizza with ham to their usual menu of cardboard-based pies slathered with pepperoni, chicken, mushrooms and grade-B mozzarella gathering bacteria under heat lamps. Oh, and let's never forget the limp, browning lettuce, lukewarm macaroni (excuse me, "pasta") and all the Pillsbury-quality cinnamon buns you can shovel into your cake hole, all for a low low price which screams "TASTELESS, FATTY CRUD" to anyone with half a brain but sounds like a "BARGAIN" to the flabby trailer trash who find places like this inviting.

"Hey look honey, them people at Cici's got that pig from the Geico commercials you like so much to tell us they gots a ham pizza this month. Gather up the kids and break the cookie jar, we's a goin' out tonight!"

I just hope that the good people at Cici's spread the "special" pizza around a bit- there's nothing uglier than a mob of sweaty, triple-chinned hicks attempting to Line Jump before the last damp slice is snatched up. Because I'm sure that they hate answering the "when's the next ham pizza comin' out" question even more than they hate reminding every other customer that no, damn it, it's Golden Corral that has that cool chocolate waterfall thingee.


  1. Pigs being eager to go and consume dead relatives. Am I the only one who finds that idea disturbing?

  2. Good call. Reminds me of that old SNL ad- "Something's Always Cookin' at the Cluckin' Chicken," where "Clucky" the cartoon chicken talks about how awesome it is to be beheaded, plucked, disemboweled, and barbecued for our pleasure.

    "Mmmm, I'm GOOD!"

  3. Well, remind me never to go there if the franchise ever makes it North of the border. If they're going to run a meet-the-meat ad, forget it. Ah, well. At least they're not doing what Red and the gang at Possum Lodge did when they started the "I can't believe it's not chicken" franchise and serving roadkill....yet....