Sunday, February 16, 2014

The rest of this Doritos ad seems to feature a girl riding a dog. I didn't bother.

Am I really the only person who watched this ad and couldn't get over the first ten seconds- when asshole dickweed douchenozzle worthless scumbag kid responds to his mom's plea for help with the groceries by sneering "I don't know, can you?" while keeping his eyes frozen to his cell phone?

Am I really the only person who felt legitimately nauseous when mom responded with "guess you don't want Doritos?"  Um, excuse me?  I wasn't the greatest kid in the world, but I'm pretty sure I never had to be bribed by my mother to ACT LIKE A FUCKING DECENT HUMAN BEING AND HELP HER WITH THE GROCERIES.  And I'm POSITIVE that if I ever DID not only refuse to help, but handed her a sassy quip while otherwise ignoring her, she would not have responded with "guess you don't want your favorite snack."  It would have been more like 'your dad's going to hear about this later- and guess what?  He's not going to be bribing you with a snack, either."

You know, I didn't even bother with the rest of this awfulness after that first ten seconds, because years after I thought I had gotten used to seeing jerk kids treat their parents like something they just scraped off their shoe, the absolute obviousness of this kid's need to have that cell phone taken away RIGHT NOW and his internet connection unplugged RIGHT NOW and needing to be put to work doing chores RIGHT NOW and being taught Basic Manners 101 RIGHT NOW really took me by surprise.  Well, what do you know-  you can still pull this off, Doritos.  I'll give you that.

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