Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Hollywood's Hammer of Been There, Done That, Here We Go Again
1. Who asked for a sequel to the very weakest installment in the Marvel Comics Parade of Avengers? Thor was a plotless, CGI-dominated boring mess featuring a cast of characters no one could possibly give a flying damn about. The humans in the film who interact (sort of) with Thor could not have been more colorless, and the "story" could not have been less engaging. Sequel? Really?
2. When I first saw Thor, my reaction to seeing the main female lead was "what the hell is Natalie Portman doing in this?" Now I see she's in the sequel, and my reaction is exactly the same. What are you doing, Miss Portman? Every time I think your acting career might actually take off, you take a huge step backward. I understand your wanting to wash the stink of the Star Wars prequels off your resume, but playing the love interest of a mannequin with the acting talent of a caterpillar is not the way to accomplish that. Heck, that's what you were doing in those Star Wars prequels!
3. I thought that the whole point of releasing an Avengers movie every few months for a decade was to build up interest for a movie featuring all of them. We got that, in 2012. It was called The Avengers. It was bloated and busy and boring, as dull characters engaged in dull conversations in between fights with some bad guys whose motivation was never made at all clear (or maybe I was asleep by then.) It made a billion dollars, Mission Accomplished. So what the hell- you are going to keep subjecting us to the "adventures" of the individual avengers now? What's the point? I didn't even bother with Iron Man 3- you think I want to see Thor and Captain America and the Hulk in their own movies after the Big Splashy Get-Together? Jeesh, that's about as pointless as rebooting Spider-Man....oh wait.....