Saturday, March 1, 2014

The most depressing thing about that State Farm Baby Ad

It's not that it features a talking baby.  That bit is so old, it's encrusted with liken.  It's so stale the birds won't peck at it.  It's so....well, anyway, it's not the talking baby.  Ad agencies love talking babies.  They don't cost anything, and the mouth breathers simply cannot get enough of them- check out the MENSA members who commented on this commercial on YouTube.

It's not that the talking baby is over-the-top rude and that it's impossible to imagine how revolting it will be when it grows up, considering how unbearably awful it is at six months.  Obnoxious Before Their Time talking babies are just par for the course.  Commercial babies are always commenting on the stock market, automobiles, cell phones- why not insurance?

It's not even the mime- mimes are easy go-to's in ads like this, never mind that they went extinct more than 30 years ago (the last mime died in captivity in 1984, cause of death unknown.  Nobody cared to investigate.)  It's not even that the talking baby knows what a mime is- talking babies know everything, remember?

And no, it's not the "I have a weird talking baby whatareyagonnado?" look Mom gives her Not At All Adorable Or Funny Little Tyke.  That, too, is to be expected in ads like this.  People are always shrugging and responding quizzically to their disgusting idiot spawn instead of doing what I'd think would come naturally- abandoning them in alleys or sending them off to military school.  Hey, you made it, Mom- deal with it.  Just don't expect me to laugh at it, at least until it says something legitimately funny, which I imagine will be shortly after next Never.

Nope- the most depressing thing about this State Farm Baby Ad is the fact that it features a State Farm agent inexplicably going over insurance options with a prospective customer in an outdoor cafe, as if he's trying to sell her on an investment opportunity or time share.  On what planet do people arrange for face-to-face sit-downs to discuss home and auto insurance?  How is this in any way cost-feasible for State Farm?  Is this woman looking to take out a $5 million policy, or what?

Actually, if the baby had said "anyone think it's weird that my mom is discussing insurance over coffee at an outdoor cafe?  FREAKY!" it would have made a LOT more sense.  But it still wouldn't have been anything approaching funny.  Because- talking babies?  Please.

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