Monday, December 14, 2015

Chevrolet: Working hard at training up the next generation of zombies

Make that "training up the next generation of witless, dullard, socially isolated children who must be constantly drugged/hypnotized by electronic devices.  With the help of pathetically useless adults who for some reason had children but can't be bothered to actually communicate with them or attempt to keep them entertained so must drive around in WiFi-equipped cars and provide each of their spawn with their own glowing screens."

Somehow, the kids of my generation managed to take long distance car rides by playing word games and listening to the radio and having actual conversations with our actual parents (back then, parents weren't there just to drive the car and provide the electronics.)  Nowadays it seems that kids can't even be in the same room with those parents without those electronics for fear of a tantrum (or a conversation) breaking out.  Just imagine what these kids are going to be like when they are adults and they've been weaned on a steady diet of instant-gratification electronic junk.  I dare you.

Thanks, Chevy, for not being satisfied with not being part of the solution, but insisting on being part of the problem.  And thanks, Mom and Dad, for having me be born long before this ridiculous era.


  1. The absolute worst, lowest part of what is already a very low ad: the kid who says, when asked how he feels about the Other Car having no WiFi: "It makes me feel like the car doesn't care about me."

    Oh, my word. Oh, no. Doesn't CARE about you?? Please say it isn't so, little angel! A car that has the audacity to make a child feel as if THE CAR DOESN'T CARE ABOUT IT! How DARE it??

    How in heaven's name can any car have the unmitigated gall NOT TO CARE ABOUT THAT CHILD????? How could it be so cruel, so heartless, as to deny that child the pleasure of watching a movie on a tablet, and to not even CARE????

    Whatever happened to this car's compassion? Why doesn't it realize that it is obligated to put the needs of children above all other things--including, most importantly, their need to be entertained at all times and in all places via professionally made film and television productions?

    Obviously, the car's priorities are sadly misplaced. It really should be roundly condemned for its callous insensitivity. The United Nations should issue a Statement on Children's Rights asserting that all children have the right to be constantly and professionally entertained, and that by failing to do its part to fulfill this obligation to the children of the world, this car should be immediately removed from the marketplace.

    1. And if the car doesn't care about the kid, what does that say about the parent who actually went out and bought a car without WiFi? Clearly that parent doesn't give a damn, either.

      What a sad world we live in.