Wednesday, December 23, 2015
The most painfully awful commercial of 2015
1. The "song." Oh. My. God. If I had children, I'd be horrified that they'd pick this up and adopt it as their own personal National Anthem.
2. The message- that children this age naturally have cell phones already (really?) and that they need cuddly little toys to hold them while they sleep (which is the only time they'll need a cell phone holder, because every waking hour is going to be spent actually holding the phone in your own hand, right?) So the people in this ad are the kind of weird toddler/teenager hybrid that cell phone companies have successfully created by marketing their wares as essential equipment for everyone. In 20 years, these things have gone from being luxuries to body parts which might as well be grafted to the hand.
3. The indoctrination. Give your six-year old a cell phone, and he or she will be consulting it for every answer you went to your parents and actual friends for. Yes, your kid will be constantly entertained and maybe even educated- but not by you. He or she will learn to find knowledge, fun and comfort from a glowing screen- a lesson that will be so ingrained by the time he or she is a teenager that- well, they'll fit right in, won't they?