Sunday, December 20, 2015

Kay Jewelers: When you want to rub her mistake in her face....

Oh yes, this is a really good idea, but be careful of your timing, buddy--

"Hey, honey- thank you for setting aside the fact that I'm a little boy in a man's body because you just really really wanted the MRS degree and the house and the fence and the kids and the SUV and the rest of the package.  Now that you've completely settled and you are more or less trapped in this situation, here's a reminder that your husband is still that immature little boy- check out this totally awesome charm bracelet which 'celebrates' a series of movies I correctly adored when I was a kid (if I'm roughly 50) or inexplicably appreciated when I was a kid (if I'm roughly 30.)"

"Before you point out that no one with even a modicum of taste would wear this crap, and that there are roughly 4 million other pieces of jewelry you would rather have received than this stupid, gawdy crud, please remind yourself about the MRS degree, the house, the fence, the kids and the SUV again.  I'll be in my Man Cave watching the ESPN Fantasy Football Report, or maybe playing World of Warcraft.  When's dinner again?"


  1. Because goodness knows a female wouldn't like Star Wars, or anything.

    1. If they do, it's strictly by accident; Lucas has said in interviews that Star Wars was intended to appeal to boys and only boys. Leah's backstory is ignored, so we never learn how she came to be so strong and independent, while the characters of Luke and are developed throughout "Episodes IV-VI." Speaking of which- if you take every second of dialogue uttered by a female other than Leah in that triology, it comes out to 90 seconds altogether. Lucas even cut scenes featuring female X-wing fighter pilots.

    2. Yes, but Lucas isn't in charge anymore. The movie this bracelet is a tie-in with has a female lead and many female supporting characters. Thats not to speak of the many female characters in other media going back decades, and the female authors who created them. Or the female fanbase who is often harrassed by people who still think it's the late '70s.

  2. Hey, did you ever think that sometimes people don't like the same things you do? Just wondering.

  3. And if we are lucky, we may learn more at some point about Leia's backstory.

    Seriously, there are many female Star Wars fans. Not all of them are immature loser boys. Although some of them are. Ye shall know them by the fact that they are pretty gross-looking themselves, but they want to know why Carrie Fisher has aged and refuses to lose weight for them so she can fit back into the metal bikini and rekindle their adolescent fantasies.