Friday, November 10, 2017

Clarins Hysterical Word Salad....errr, Serum

In thirty-one seconds of narration and silly visuals accented by a zombie-pale woman who worries about wrinkles despite the fact that she's never been in the sun in her life, we learn that this bottle of pricey goo is

Two Serums in One!  (Wow!  That's twice as good as just ONE serum!  Where do I buy this stuff for the girl in my life who is starting to look her age, which is my age, which sucks?)

With 21 Potent Plant Abstracts! (That sounds so impressive!  So, what are these plants?  What do you mean, Shut Up That's Why?)

Hydric and Lipidic Systems!  (I don't know what those are, but if I admit that I'll look stupid, so This Is Impressive Too!)

And here's the hilarious punchline:  "After seven days, Instant Radiance!"  Ok, stop.  That doesn't even make any sense.  Seven days isn't "instant."  Does the narrator mean that there's no gradual improvement during those seven days, but the effects of the two serums with hydric and lipidic systems from 21 plant abstracts suddenly show up "instantly" on Day Seven?  Will it hurt?  Will it be scary?


  1. The sophism behind exploiting exotic imagery for the sole purpose of psyopic cajoling is abundant in most advertising.

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