Friday, November 24, 2017

The Ultimate in Manipulative Tripe from Volkswagen

(A Little Trivia: This song was the one my graduating class picked for departing ceremonies when it was time to leave Spaulding High School in June, 1982.  The ONLY reason we wanted chose this song was so that we could sing the "I get high with a little help from my friends" part, which we were forbidden to do but did anyway.)

All of the self-indulgent wankers in this ad really wanted to be at that Civil Rights/Out of Vietnam rally, but there was this cool outdoor rock concert on a farm in Upstate New York so hey, priorities.

And when the music stopped, all the males in this ad went on to become hedge fund managers or government employees with massive pensions.  A few of them went into teaching public school in New York and took a retirement bailout offer from the state at the age of 55.  They've spent the last 25 years touring Europe every fifteen minutes.

The female flower children in this ad went on to earn their MRS degree and now all live in the suburbs of Washington DC or Baltimore or NYC where they raised their 2.5 kids and did all the white bread conformist crap they cursed their parents for doing but justified it by shopping at organic farmers markets and Whole Foods.

Every single person in this ad did extremely well by discarding the "values" of their youth for the siren song of Capitalism and totally sold out way before they reached the age of 30.  If they saw someone stuck in the mud today, they might whip out their phones and call AAA, but only after tweeting the oh-so-hilarious situation to all their friends and posting it to YouTube first.

So when they were young they enjoyed free love, cheap and safe marijuana, practically-free college, a soaring stock market and all the benefits a strong labor movement had to offer.  Now they sit in their pretentious Tudor suburban palaces dreaming of the Lexus they hope their significant other picks up for them in this year's December to Remember promotion.  They all put Bernie Sanders yard signs up last fall and then voted for Trump.  And none of them ever, EVER gave a flying damn about anyone but themselves, I don't care WHAT the song says.

BTW, one of the YouTube commentators who clearly is no more than thirty years old posted that he really wants a VW van now.  I suggested that he could simulate the experience of owning a vintage VW van by tearing out the back seats and removing the seat belts and heating system of an SUV.  To make the experience even more genuine I might have added that he should rig the engine so that it fails to turn over at least fifty percent of the time when the key is turned.  No one who has ever owned one of those rusty, unreliable, uncomfortable and unsafe crapbuckets would fantasize about possessing one now, except to use as target practice.  With these over-indulged losers packed inside.

No comments:

Post a Comment