Wednesday, March 11, 2020

We Are Farmers, and We Think Chores are things to be Saved from

Wow, I just....I just don't even know where to begin....

How about with this dishrag of a woman asking what appears to be her 25-year old son if he was "even planning" to "mow the lawn"* today?  I'm pretty sure that neither of my parents never asked me to mow a lawn with quite those words.  I think it was more like "mow the lawn today."  But then again, neither of my parents ever walked in on me slouched in an Easy Chair eating a bag of fried fat and playing video games when I was supposed to be doing chores.  I know that, because I'm still alive after all.

Or maybe we should just skip to this loathsome creep-of-a-son's response.  What.  The Actual.  F??  On one hand, I could just shrug and say "well, you raised it, you live with it."  On the other hand- holy crap buddy, you talk to your mom- the one who provides that house and those clothes and that TV- like she's dirt at the bottom of those sneakers she bought for you?  Ugh, what a douchnozzle.

Naw, let's just get to the punchline- "saved by the bolt" when the lawnmower is hit by lightning?  What does this mean?  That the kid was saved from having to "mow"* the lawn?  But there's no indication that he was going to put down his Idiot Time Vampire Game Controller and mow that lawn.  We all just heard him tell his mom to basically f--k off.  He wasn't "planning" to move from that chair . He wasn't "saved" from mowing it because he wasn't going to mow it.  And to add insult to injury, this puddle of pond scum actually thinks it's cool that the lawnmower was destroyed by lightning- not his problem, after all.  Now, if the lightning had caused a power surge which damaged his Rogers Game Brick, THAT would have been a real bummer, something to be concerned about it.  Mom's lawnmower?  F-- that lame s--t, right, kid?

Personally, I think I can speak for millions of viewers when I say that this commercial would have been much more satisfying if that little creep had been on the lawnmower when it was hit by lightning.  Maybe they are saving that for a Superbowl ad?

*Every summer I keep a lawn about five times larger than the postage stamp we see in this ad mowed using a push mower, and I'm probably 3 times older than the smart-ass little stain we see here (if he's really supposed to be a teenager and not a 25-year old still living on Mommy's dime.)  If this woman had any guts, she'd take the insurance money, buy a push-mower, and tell that kid he can either keep the lawn mowed or his video game console is going out the door- and so is he.  Meanwhile, she'll be using the balance to take some parenting classes at the local college. 

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