Saturday, April 3, 2021

Apple and "The Underdogs," Part I


Wow, so this woman got a meeting with a Much More Important Person Than She Is because that MMIPTSI hit her car?  And when that MMIPTSI said "is there anything I can do" in a threatening "I'm better than you, what are you going to do about it? tone, this woman's response was to beg for a meeting- and then be willing to be VERY flexible about when that meeting would take place?  Personally, I would have been screaming that I had been severely burned by my spilled coffee, plus we needed to exchange insurance information BECAUSE YOU JUST HIT MY CAR DAMMIT!

Instead, the victim goes up to the office and informs her sad group of shlub coworkers that they have an opportunity to present their Super Awesome Idea to a MMIPTSI this Thursday (yes, THIS Thursday.)  One of her coworkers complains that they need two weeks, not two days.  Another says he's going to be sick.  Because there's just no way they are going to put together their Super Awesome Idea delivery pizza in round boxes* instead of square ones.  I mean, that's such a complicated, out-of-the-box (lousy pun not intended) concept, there's just NO WAY they can figure out way to sell it in what I guess is a non-tv version of Shark Tank in just TWO DAYS!

Anyway, this goes on and on AND on and we get to see these stupid whiny putzes complain nonstop as they maneuver the next two days and try to convince us that this round pizza box concept requires more than a few seconds of thinking and an entire staff to bring into reality.  We get to see someone in bed.  We get to see another person in the shower.  The idea is that the lives of this entire staff of morons has been turned upside down because they have literally hours to turn the concept of round pizza boxes into a "prototype" (no kidding, they use that word) to show to Vivian, the VIP (I'm just going with VIP now) who hit a woman's car and is paying the damages by giving her and her sad coworkers a meeting.

I don't know how this turns out.  I don't care.  Something to do with Apple.  It's just way too stupid and I've spent enough time on this already, and comments are turned off and I've never seen this ad on TV which suggests to me that my reaction pretty much lines up with the common response to this steaming nugget of dumb from the most awful corporation on the planet that doesn't belong to Jeff Bezos (yet.)

*the reason why pizza boxes are square is because square boxes are easy to fold, close and stack.  This is so obvious that it will completely escape this entire group never mind that they've spent countless hours thinking about it.  It will be the first thing Vivian brings up in Thursday's meeting, which will end fifteen seconds later with a lot of downturned eyes and red faces and memories of a bumper which still needs to be fixed. 

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