"Wait up wait up wait up! PapaJohns has stuffed pizza now, only thirty years after it became a thing pretty much everywhere else! Wow, ain't that something! All our texts and tweets and Facebook posts and phone calls we spent years producing because if we stopped and thought for one minute about what we think is important we'd kill ourselves finally paid off! FINALLY, PapaJohn's Only Slightly More Tasty Than The Box It Comes In Carbs and Sugar 'pizza' comes with stuffed crust to make it even more toxic! Wooooheee next time we have a family reunion we're skipping Golden Corral and just having PapaJohns deliver!"
I hate this country so very, very much.