Friday, April 16, 2021

Not in the mood to be generous to phone sales losers

 


I found this gem of a training video while looking for a visual version of an ad for sales training I keep hearing on XM.  If you have XM or it's running on terrestrial radio you've probably heard it too: the one where the guy spits a hundred stats at you at about a hundred miles an hour with absolutely no citations:  "Did you know that 90 percent of your sales are made by 20 percent of your sales force?  Did you know that 88 percent of salesmen never even make contact with the customers?  Did you know that 79 percent of customers are 56 percent more likely to walk into 96 percent of stores offering at least 81 percent of what they want to purchase?  Does this ad make you at least 68 percent more grateful that you stayed awake in school and didn't turn out to be a piece of s--t sales monkey?"

Anyway, this video is definitely worth a listen, and is especially more fun when like me you've just wasted some cold-calling Car Warranty scammer's time (almost 22 minutes today,* and I only hung up because mom needed to use the phone!)  I've talked to enough scammers to know that they are very quick to ask "when is a good time to call?" when you tell them you're too busy.  Much better to waste their time with friendly chitchat so they aren't available to try to steal someone else's money.  

I didn't get through the entire video- does it end with a polite suggestion that lots of pawn shops sell handguns and a quick bullet to the brain will end the misery of being one of these sad little sales monkeys?

*not actually "today," but I've had this post stored in the archives for a while......

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