Sunday, April 18, 2021

Verizon's obnoxious "drop a better phone next time" commercial


1.  I find it hard to believe that the first guy we see is real.  That's CGI, isn't it?  He looks like he's made of plastic.  I mean, I can't be the only person who finds him downright creepy.

2.  This woman is an absolute gibbering moron.  She's "broken every phone she's ever owned."  And she's giggling about it.  She demonstrates her clueless clumsiness by dropping her phone for our benefit. And then she suggests that she "wants something new."  Well, sure.  I know that if I was constantly breaking an expensive piece of electronics, that would be my response, too. 

3.  So now you can turn in your broken phone for credit on a new one.  Because the only thing more satisfying than breaking something that costs $500 is breaking something that costs $1000, especially when you got a $500 credit for the phone you are turning in.   Feel free to continue to break expensive, fragile electronics, people- Verizon is ready to "reward" you with credit for a new piece of expensive, fragile electronics.

4.  Somehow, the stupid thoughtless doofuses who are constantly mishandling and breaking items that the vast majority of people on Earth (including the people who assemble them) can only dream of actually owning are quickly talked into believing that they "deserve" an even better phone because they broke their old one through utter carelessness.  Not only is this not worthy of a smile and a giggle, it isn't even worthy of my contempt or further comment.  So I'll just stop here.

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