Tuesday, July 18, 2023

And then the guy in this OnDeck commercial woke up...


...from his beautiful dream of running a twee donut shop which somehow offered roughly thirty flavors of donuts and was so incredibly popular that he had a line of customers down the block waiting to buy something they can get cheaper at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru thirty yards away.  It was such an awesome dream, too- he was being SO profitable that he needed to hire more people, which required a quick business loan because....um....he's being so profitable. 

Wait, what?  You know how you are having a nice dream and suddenly it gets stupid and unrealistic and that's when you wake up because your brain can't handle the contradictions?  Well, that happens to this guy before a Loan Falcon can crash through his window with money falling out of it's beak.  It happens when he simultaneously celebrates the massive success of his company AND frets that he needs a loan.  Personally, it would have happened for me when I realized that there is simply no way that I am creating donuts so freaking awesome that people are willing to line up on the sidewalk like I'm the freaking Soup Nazi.  What's in these donuts, heroin?

Coming soon:  that commercial with the awful awful girl who grows up with an obsession with lemons who thinks she's going to turn that obsession into a profitable business because America and Dreams and such.  

1 comment:

  1. And when they're told how many businesses fail in the first year, they either wish they'd been told that earlier or blame The Man. It can't be their overreach, after all.