Saturday, February 12, 2011
Oh what a tangled web we weave...
Someone, please, get this kid some parents.
A little girl too young and naive to be aware that her lower-middle class trailer trash clueless parents are doing her zero favors by getting her addicted to grease-and-salt laden "food" from the local Mickey D's asks her idiot father "where does breakfast come from?"
Dad, probably annoyed that the woman who was a Nice Girlfriend But Dammit I Told You I Wasn't Ready to Start a Family forbids him from using his cellphone while driving passes the question back to mom. And now it gets really, really stupid.
Because apparently mom has no clue where food comes from (charitably referring to what they sell at McDonald's as "food.") So she pulls some convoluted pile of BS straight out of her ass to explain what any High School graduate really ought to be able to describe in understandable terms to any kid willing to listen- some crap about Food Wizards with Magic Wands who chant spells and make gestures and Presto! There's the Magical Food, right there!
(By the way, the fact that this little kid doesn't already think that "Breakfast comes from the Refrigerator" or "Breakfast comes from the Store" gives us a pretty good idea of how often she eats at McDonalds. My guess is that she thinks milk comes from 7-11, where it lives next to dad's smokes, and money comes from CashStop.)
Having failed to make this a teachable moment by talking about farmers and cows and trucks and trains and all the hard work that goes into getting food out of the ground, and instead spinning a low-quality fairy tale which the kid will someday repeat on the playground and get mocked for, mom is confronted with another question- "where did I come from?" which mom Hil-ARIOUSLY bounces back to dad. (Don't we all hope that dad responds with a 100 percent accurate, medical description of the procedure? I mean, shouldn't at least one of these alleged "parents" refuse to play the "let's keep the kid dumber than we are, for as long as possible" game?)
Seriously, who is this ad supposed to appeal to? People too young to be carting around children? People too stupid to know that McDonalds food is fatty junk that should be kept a safe distance from youngsters (and adults, for that matter?) People who think that kids should never, ever be given an opportunity to learn anything outside of the sterile confines of a classroom?
Well, I guess that population is pretty big, so McDonalds is safe. If I were sitting at the next table, I'd have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, though. Just to be safe, I'll keep taking my coffee (the only thing McDonalds makes which is worth consuming) to go.