Saturday, April 9, 2011

We humans have already had that conversation. Just FYI.

1. "Allergies?" No, lady, that guy doesn't have allergies. He's just carrying a box of Allegra for the heck of it. Seriously, if you are that desperate for an excuse to start a conversation with a guy you will later playfully insists "loves you," I would like to make you aware of several internet dating services...

2. "You know you can't take Allegra with Fruit Juice.." There are actually several opportunities for snark here. First of all, is that even OJ he has in his hand? It looks like a faux-juice drink to me. But let's go along and concede that it is OJ, and this woman just saved her coworker from a possibly fatal reaction to his over the counter medication. The guy seems oddly unappreciative.

3. The "solution" to not being able to take Allegra with OJ is not to find another drink, but to switch medications? Yikes. What if he's been taking Allegra for days or even weeks during allergy season- is it really ok to just stop using it and switch to Zyrtec instead? Maybe it is- but that still seems like a strange fix, when in five minutes he could just grab a soda or bottle of water to wash down his Allegra.

4. My favorite part of the whole commercial- the until-the-very-end silent zombie coworker, who has spent this entire conversation staring at his fucking Blackberry, so engrossed in whatever is on that little screen that he has apparently been rendered completely deaf. I say this because he reveals that he had NO IDEA what his coworkers were talking about before he took his eyes off the screen-- "you know you can't take Allegra with Orange Juice? Just FYI..."

Wouldn't this part have made a whole hell of a lot more sense if the coworker had ear buds on until he spoke up at the end? Or if he just walked into the scene at the close of the ad to put in his two cents? The first few times I saw this ad, I didn't even realize that he had been with them the whole time, probably because my brain rebelled against the idea that he could not be aware of what the two others had been discussing for the past thirty seconds. I mean, what the heck?

Or maybe it's just that I have no experience with Blackberries, I Phones, Droids, etc. etc. Based on what I see in my everyday life, it's just possible that the use of these gadgets DOES render the user completely oblivious to his or her surroundings. Which means that in reconsidering this ad, we must insert this little notion: if that girl had not been there, the Blackberry guy would have been too distracted to notice that his coworker was taking Allegra with OJ until it was too late. Which leaves me wondering just one more thing: would Blackberry guy remember that he could use that thing to call an ambulance before his coworker fell into an irreversible Allegra/OJ induced coma?

(BTW, I do like the fact that this guy's medication and juice take up the rest of the park bench, leaving FYI-guy to lean against the wall with his precious Blackberry. Nice.)


  1. Hey, happy commercial people, you know what else works great? Taking your fucking pills at the same time every day, like, say... before you leave the house.

    I have a handful of stay-alive pills I take every-single-day. One of them is Loratadine (24-hour allergy pill). See, it's more effective if taken at the same time every day. That means it works better. Just FYI. (I wanted to smash their heads together when they replied all snarky-like: "Really?!")

    I'm just going to ignore the rest of the commercial... because when I saw it for the first time, I thought of you, John.

  2. She: You can't take Allegra with juice.
    He: Oh, thanks, I'll go get some water.
    She: NO!
    He: Why not?
    She: Because this is not an ad for Allegra.
    He: Oh.
    She: This is a Zyrtec ad! Take Zyrtec.
    He: Oh.
    She: And you can take it with the juice.
    He: Okay.
    W/phone: You can't take Allegra with juice FYI.
    He: Who are you?
    She: He's my understudy for this part.
    W/phone: You arent's sick.
    She: No, I'm here, aren't I?
    W/phone: I didn't see you, I was on my phone.
    She: Look up next time.
    W/phone: I thought you had suffered a reaction to Allegra and juice.
    She: SHH! This is a Zyrtec ad. Don't say I use Allegra!

    1. Oddly enough, I took an Allegra seconds before seeing this in my inbox. With water.