Sunday, April 24, 2011

When you care enough to save the very most

As long as we are shopping for tires on, here are some more ideas for people who think that safety is a good idea, but saving money is even better:

1. parachutes in Practically Mint Condition. You can get great discounts if you don't need your parachute to be absolutely free of wear and tear.

2. because seriously, what are the odds you are ever going to be in an accident anyway? Think of the savings! And while we're at it

3. sure they've been knocked around a bit, but your kids will never notice!

4. Expiration Dates are great, if your name happens to be Rockefeller or Vanderbilt. But if you are a penny-conscious consumer who is planning on adding syrup or using it for cereal anyway, why not give this (banned in 38 states) product a try?

5. Why pay $20 or more for a box of "fresh" contact lenses when we've got your prescription right here on our overstocked shelves? Take advantage of the economic downturn and visit what some of our customers are calling the "Pawn Shop for Eye Care." Returns are no problem!

After all, if you want a deep discount on something you'll be trusting your life to on a daily basis, what WON'T you risk to save a few bucks, you penny-wise, pound-foolish weirdo?


  1. They were so cheap that they couldn't afford someone to speak during the commercial!

    Let's not forget (which probably exists!).

  2. Sadly, there are people so poor that they seriously cannot afford anything but the cheapest tires possible. They will buy cheap tires rather than not be able to drive at all. And if you think that's bad, there are places that RENT tires to such downmarket customers. Yes, rent. They serve the same market as the payday lenders, furniture renters and Tronix Country.