Sunday, April 17, 2011

Your real problem is sitting to your left, lady

A long, long time ago (the 90s) in a galaxy far, far away (Western New York) I was a married person who spent several weekends a year visiting my brother-in-law and his wife, whose prized possession was their yacht. It wasn't just their most prized possession, however; it was their pride and joy, their child. They had framed photos of the yacht all over their home in Lockport. They spent every free minute of their lives between April and October working on the yacht, fishing off the yacht, rafting off the yacht, or just sitting on it's spacious deck, reading the newspapers. My wife and I spent many a lovely summer day rolling along the Niagara River on that yacht. The year of our divorce was also a year of reversals for my relatives, who had to sell off their baby. Very sad times, all around.

The nasty old woman in this commercial would not understand my brother and sister in law. As near as I can figure from this rather confusing, pointless little nub of an advertisement, she does not approve of the boat purchased by her close relatives, or the fun they derive from it's usage. She's sick of hearing about the boat, and when she is finally coaxed into experiencing it, she sits there acting as if she's been weened on a pickle and cant' wait for this awful thing to stop so she can get off and get back to her couch. Where she will go back to bitching about the boat.

This is a commercial for insurance- as near as I can tell (seriously, I might be completely wrong about the message, wouldn't be the first time.) Beyond that, I can't figure the selling point- this woman should not be worried because the boat owners have insurance? Really? How would the knowledge that her relatives are insured make any sane person less worried about her grandkids dying in a boating accident? Isn't that kind of mercenary?

Personally, I think all this whining about "the boat" is all about blocking the real issue- this woman's husband is suffering from a serious eating disorder that she is refusing to confront and deal with. She's about to lose her life partner to a heart attack or diabetes, but she doesn't want to talk about that- she'd rather obsess about the boat, the boat, the boat. Maybe his life insurance is paid up, and she just doesn't care. But what about the rest of the family? Seems to me this guy isn't just her husband- he's also Dad and/or Grampa to some of those people on the boat. Does nobody notice that this guy has serious problem?

Isn't it time for an intervention here?


  1. I don't get the point. Is the point that Safeco insures boats that are depressing?

    Is the point that Safeco will insure your living room if you sit in it instead of on a boat because you hate boats?

    I don't understand at all.

  2. I hate to say it but I miss the days where they had a group of people talking about the need to feel safe in a world of grime and rap music. (Notice I didn't say 'robots'.) At least then, the insurance companies preyed on an obvious fear; trying to figure out what panic is being invoked here is like wondering what hamsters have to do with import cars.

  3. His wife doesn't understand him, but his insurance company does.

  4. this awful evil whining Shrew ugly running her mouth terrible woman arouses in me a very serious urge to defecate... on this commercial, in this woman's mouth, and on the insurance company that shows this storyline for the background of their ad... this woman is awful and I wish I only awful things for whoever she is I absolutely hate these commercials I hate them I hate them I hate them