Saturday, September 24, 2011

Because there's STILL not enough noise out there!

There seem to be two messages being delivered to the viewer here: First, Seniors are really, really out of it, finding technology and contracts and what-not really confusing- no, bewildering- what with the miles of paperwork and special disconnection fees (hey, come on- you guys are seniors- how many times do you think you are going to want to switch carriers anyway? Sorry, couldn't resist.) At least this is a step up from those "my mom was so intimidated by the idea of cell phones until I got her one that was roughly the size of a World War II field radio" ads I remember from a few years ago. Still, there's something rather obnoxious about the suggestion that senior citizens- you know, that population of people who AREN'T under water on their mortgages because they didn't leverage them or buy houses they couldn't realistically afford, who have file cabinets containing every warranty and every owner's manual for every appliance they've ever owned, and never, EVER pay full price for ANYTHING because they have a coupon for everything that could possibly on sale, wouldn't know how to manage a simple cell phone contract.

Second, that seniors are being left out of the Wonderful World Of Talking Your Ass Off About Anything That Pops Into Your Head At That Moment No Matter Where You Are, and here's this wonderful product which will allow Even People 55 And Over to entertain the rest of us with their pointless, idiotic conversations as we are just trying to get on with our lives WITHOUT being kept up to date on the non-lives of total strangers. No longer will Being a Total Anti-Social Dickweed be the sole dominion of the Forty and Under crowd- thanks to this new Senior-Friendly phone service, we may now expect to hear Grandma's cell go off in the middle of the movie theater, and continue to ring as she spends ten minutes fumbling through her knapsack-sized pocketbook to find it. (And if she's like most seniors I know with their cell phones, she'll then proceed to yell into it as if she's trying to update HQ on troop movements during the Normandy Invasion.)

And I won't even get into the "Hey, Handsome!" and "Hey, Ugly!" comments which bookmark this little lump of Dumb. I guess that's just some ad agency's idea of How Seniors Talk To Each Other. Somehow, I don't see my brothers and I addressing ourselves this way when we finally join the Silver Set- but we aren't adorable twins like these guys, so who knows.

Then again, the day I find myself having a "conversation" like this at high volume as I walk down the street, assaulting innocent bystanders with my pointless blather, I really hope that someone points out that I've become my own worst enemy- and theirs, too. Of course, by then, no one will notice my behavior, because everyone else will be doing the exact same thing. This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.


  1. Great. Not only are they trying to destroy the social contract, they're using the old stereotype about forgetful old people to do it.

  2. This one gets played roughly 16 times during each episode of Bonanza (12:30-5:00pm on TV Land). Just started watching this show... (I'm home on disablilty after surgery and bored). It isnt too bad. One thing I dont get is that in one episode the Cartwrights or total dicks who wont let anyone on their property and then the next episode they are the most friendly generous people around....

    So back to the commercial. Exactly how many minutes do you get for 10 dollars a month? 200 at most. And I love how these cheap/free stuff for old people commercials pretend like the residual cost of this stuff is payed for by some magical AARP fairy. Like the one where the guy got his power chair "At no cost to me". Hey you old burden to society, someone has to pay for it and Im damn sick of subsidizing these people. One more thing and I honestly dont care if people think Im racist but do these guys not look like albino black people or something. There is just something very odd about them.

  3. Those Scooters are indeed subsidized through Medicare-- and there have been plenty of complaints concerning Medicare being charged for brand new scooters while refurbished or barely-functional, ancient scooters have been delivered to seniors "at no cost to them." I like the idea of providing as much as we can to needy seniors; but the people in these commercials always look perfectly capable of providing their own damn scooters, cell phones, etc out of their own pockets- they all look upper middle class or above, sitting around drinking coffee, playing golf...they aren't shown punching in for their shifts at McDonalds or struggling with the screen door on their trailers. If you can afford a brick colonial, please don't ask me to subsidize your damned cell phone bill, ok?

  4. Here's the secret about these alleged "twins": they're actually just one guy, playing twins. A guy who fancies himself a comedian. Kind of a reverse of the Mary-Kate and Ashley thing.