Saturday, September 17, 2011

A flight in desperate need of a hijacking

The people who wrote this ad should be congratulated for their ability to jam so much anger-inducing garbage into such a tiny window of opportunity. Seriously, I got your beach right here, you smarmy jackanapes!

First, you've got this totally self-satisfied, smirking, glassy-eyed Business Class dickwad apparently lost in the haze of his own success, not halfway through his bottle of Corona before the Way Too Happy stewardess asks him if "everything's ok here?" Having all the time in the world, and not the least bit concerned that there might be anyone else on the plane who might like their FIRST beverage (like the woman across the aisle, for example,) letting said stewardess know that yes, he's very happy with his beer, his life, and his situation in general. And who wouldn't be?

Then we have the stewardess asking the woman who is Apparently The Only Other Person On The Plane Worthy Of Being Served if she would like something. Well, this is nice. The first guy to be waited on has already been served up a beer, but he was catered to before the woman directly across from him was asked what she wants for the FIRST time? Ok, whatever. In exactly as much hurry to let the poor stewardess move on to the other, Obviously Unimportant Passengers as that smarmy, possibly stoned dick enjoying his Carona is, this woman matches the guy's level of concern for the wants and needs of others by quietly replying "I'll have one of those."

And when she receives "one of those," she completes the implied connection with Please Please Please Be Allergic To Peanuts And Die male passenger by saluting him with her f--ing beer bottle. Oh, and please note that neither of these hateful idiots offers anything resembling a "please" or "thank you" during the entire commercial.

I'm not sure what the message of these Corona commercials is supposed to be- that drinking this crap allows you to indulge in the illusion of being on a quiet, private beach? That people who drink Carona are all spoiled brats who don't have the time or inclination to show even a modicum of respect for the people waiting on them as if they were royalty? That we, the viewing public, should want to slap around these people?

Because if it's Option C, mission accomplished.


  1. Damn straight they need to be slapped silly; acting as if one brand of beer is different from others is like pretending that detergents or SUVs aren't all the same either: an exercise in focusing on differences no one else can see.

  2. The thing that annoys me about this commercial is that the don't even serve glass bottles on airplanes. He really should be holding a plastic cup of beer.

  3. They aren't paying for their beers, so it must be business class- who the hell would drink cheap crap like Corona in business class?

    And again- is it so damned hard to say "please" and "thank you?"