Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Where's the Gunbarrel Opening??

What is it about Virgin Airline Commercials that makes me think that they should be followed by ninety minutes of Daniel Craig shooting at bad guys?

And what is it about Virgin Airline Commercials that just screams "you can't afford this, not that we fly to any place you can afford to visit, anyway?" In fact, what is it about Virgin Airline Commercials that tells me "look, these ads are aimed for you about as much as Lexus and BDO ads are?"

And why do I expect that this would make a lot more sense if I was drunk or high while watching it? Ice Cream, Shrimp and Martinis? Doesn't really seem conducive to a good night's sleep...

I mean, this is just weird. And I kind of suspect that that is the joke. Virgin Airlines has a lot of money for it's ad campaign. It doesn't have to do cheap crap like Southwest's horrid "Baggage Police" series. It can afford cool graphics and hot women- and since we are apparently never going to see another James Bond film, it can lift ideas from the opening credits of that series, too. I do wish this didn't remind me so much of Sheryl Crow's hideous title song for the equally hideous
"Tomorrow Never Dies"- ugh.

Just one request, Virgin Airlines: If you want to take this to the next level, ask Timothy Dalton to make a guest appearance in your next commercial. Connery is retired, Craig is ok but probably too busy- and I'm trying hard to forget that Lazenby, Moore or Brosnan ever played the character.


  1. I flew on Virgin Airlines once. In July 2005, I went to Australia through the grand generosity of a friend. I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to Sydney, then to Brisbane. I found that a bit odd, that I flew past Brisbane to Sydney, only to have to fly back. But that short flight- under an hour- from Sydney to Brisbane was on Virgin.

    The flight attendants were all young, hot, and trendy-looking. And so polite. I, on the other hand, was disheveled, exhausted (I'd been traveling for nearly 24 hours by then), and in desperate need of a shower.

    All I can say for the staff was that they didn't make fun of me when I glued myself to the window and kept gasping at the coastline of Australia as we flew to Brisbane.

    At least, not to my face. Like I said, they were polite.

    Also- Connery is my favorite Bond.

  2. Oh, joy; yet another reminder that admen live in a weird fantasy capsule isolated from the real world in which real people are worried about rising food prices and losing their homes.

  3. OK, so the message here is: "Fly Virgin Airlines--we've got hot female flight attendants in red stiletto heels who will flirt with you so much you'll want to vogue for them while you're forced through the indignity of a full-body scan that shows your underwear and God knows what else--not only that, but they'll even dance and dissolve for you and pull up your cloud-blankie and put you to bed; we've got pilots with the egos of Hollywood superstars; we've got male flight attendants who will pole-dance on forks; we serve martinis big enough to bathe in; and the whole experience will make you feel as if you flew to New York all by yourself and boy, are your arms tired! Oh, and did we mention Linda? She does gymnastics!"