Friday, September 9, 2011

I think it's the unjustifiable self-congratulation that really ticks me off here

"The dinner table is where I learned how to be responsible."

The dinner table is where you learned that it was a good idea to poison your family with cheap fat, salt and cholesterol-laden crud just because it could be prepared in a single frying pan inside of ten minutes? Really?

"Teachin' em right from's my job!" Well, you are doing it very badly, lady. Here's some help: Teaching growing kids that mixing a package of chemicals to ground beef and elbow macaroni is a good way to perform the "work' that is supposed to go into making dinner is Wrong. When Mommy does this, she isn't doing her Job. She's taking what's called a Shortcut. And judging from the size of this house, she's not doing it out of economic necessity. She's doing it because her Other job- the one that pays her in money rather than fat, sick, malnourished kids- is more important than that Teaching Them Right from Wrong stuff.

"I used to be a track star, and I was fast...." Why do I suspect you weren't raised on Hamburger Helper, Mommy? And why do I strongly suspect that your kids won't be winning any track medals in the near or distant future?

By the way, what year is this again? Both "parents" in this commercial work outside the home. So why is it Mommy's responsibility- and ONLY Mommy's responsibility- to get "dinner" (using the term very loosely here) on the table? Shouldn't that be the job of the first adult to get home each evening, or, if they come home together, a job that's shared between them?

And don't tell me that Daddy isn't doing the cooking because Mommy's just so darned good at it. Because this....this is just wrong.


  1. The only convenience this sort of 'convenience' food provides is that it pads the wallets of future cardiologists and the purveyors of the medications in ads that say "You need this drug but it'll kill you."

  2. Check out 0:29... ITS GREY!!!! EWWWW!!!!

  3. As near as I can tell, the only side dishes being provided with the hot puddle of beef, cheese and macaroni is a spoonful of Something Green and a muffin (or is that a cupcake? That wouldn't surprise me, either.)

  4. Hahahaha... Thats awesome. Its Collard greens and cornbread muffins. What, no watermelon Betty Crocker?

  5. You know, I was afraid that's what it was. Dear God.