Monday, January 9, 2012

"Hey, I had a bagel with seeds in it last week! What do you want from me?"

Ugh, I don't know what's more obnoxious here- the fact that this is Yet Another Episode of the longest-running show on television, My Husband Is A Clueless Jackass Who Would Be Dead If He Hadn't Married Me, or that it's also Yet Another This Thing Has Some Fiber Therefore It's Good For You commercial which feeds on the myth that there's a magic bullet to good health. Let's call it a tie.

Doofus Moron Hubby whines like an eight-year old at the very suggestion that maybe he should eat something that has more fiber than a bowl of chocolate pudding. He grimaces at the broccoli and asks his Mom--errr, wife-- if he should just "eat the bag." (My suggestion: Yes. Eat the bag. But please, soak it in gasoline first. Come on, I dare you.)

Long-suffering but What The Hell He Makes Six Digits And The Clock Was Ticking Mom---errr, Wife, fascinated with the ingredient panel of the box of sugar-infused dirt in her hand, is perfectly willing for the Doofus Moron She Shares The House With to believe that she's a hypocrite because she's eating aforementioned sugar-infused dirt.

And here's where the ad really jumps the shark. Designated Male Moron thinks that this stick of nuts and granola held together by honey, drenched in chocolate syrup and sprinkled with chocolate chips, is a candy bar. Never mind that it doesn't look like any candy bar I've ever seen. And he seems to continue to think it's a candy bar after taking a bite. Never mind that if this thing is a candy bar, it's the most god-awful tasting candy bar imaginable.

Ok, I'll give the guy a little credit here- if your choice when trying to classify this thing is to either call it a candy bar or an intelligent part of a high-fiber diet, I have to go with candy bar. It's chocolate and sugar- LOTS of sugar. It has slightly more fiber than a Milky Way. As part of a plan to put more fiber in your diet, well...let's just say there are many, many more effective ways to accomplish that than chowing down on these calorie-dense sweets.

Sorry, lady, but you lose this one. I think that makes the score You 11,000, Him 1. I wouldn't call this a sign of an impending comeback. Just a tiny glimmer of hope.

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