Tuesday, January 17, 2012

What's missing in these commercials?

Sometimes I think that the people hired to write Viagra commercials are all frustrated poets or painters. They always present us with this "clever" imagery that is supposed to make us nod and think "yep, that's a super awesome way of presenting erectile disfunction in a commercial which can be broadcast during football games." Overheated cars. Trucks stuck in the mud, rendering the vehicles impotent (get it? GET IT?) Spinning tires, going nowhere. (GET IT?)

They also appeal to your average couch-potato slob who likes to take breaks from imagining himself to be a lightning-fast wide receiver to imagining himself to be the kind of rugged outdoorsman who spends his weekends hauling thoroughbreds or cruising along in a sailboat or doing any number of those rugged outdoorsy things which don't include guzzling beer or using the dust buster to vacuum chips off your stomach at halftime.

What I don't get is that none of these Viagra ads ever include men interacting with women. So they are sexually excited because- they are driving trucks? Because they are in sports cars? Because they are doing something involving dirt, other guys, and horses? What?

Hey guys- maybe the reason you are having-- umm, disfunctions-- is because you constantly find yourselves doing things that aren't at all erotic. Maybe you just might consider spending more time around actual females? Think that might help?

Also, notice how the strongly implied message in all of these ads is that the men featured in them can have sex at the drop of the hat, any time they want- as long as it's physically possible for them? There's always the trucker pulling up to the lonely, dark farmhouse with the super-confident look on his face. "When the time is right" seems to mean "when you get home, because the time is always right for the little lady." Very nice.

Anyway, I don't post on a lot of these commercials because I find them so terribly distasteful. I don't get how there could be a single male left in this country who isn't aware of Viagra and needs to be prompted to Ask His Doctor about it. These are kind of like ads for McDonalds or toilet paper- yes, we know it's out there. We know how to get it if we need it. Now please, stay off our televisions, ok? This is not stuff we want to think about while watching football, or any other time for that matter.


  1. At least it's not Smilin'Bob and his rictus grin of death from the Enzyte ads.....THEY have gushing females admiring the Man with Priapism.....

  2. At least the creepy ones with the couple in separate bathtubs in the woods and the grandparents getting ready to dash upstairs only to be cock-blocked by the family visiting show a woman with which he can have sex.

  3. Dreaded, I've tried to post on those ads. I just can't- probably because they are supposed to be stupid, which ruins all the fun.

  4. I agree....it'd be like commenting on the Shticky ads......

  5. I almost did that today, couldn't figure out how.