Friday, January 20, 2012
We've come a long way since "Look for the Union Label." Unfortunately, in the wrong direction.
When I first viewed this commercial, I actually thought it was a put-on. Maybe a Saturday Night Live skit, or an Onion Parody.
By the time it was (mercifully) over, I had come to the realization that the people who put together this awful, sleazy, manipulative, and downright Un-American plate of steaming tripe are one hundred percent serious in their "Unions are Evil" message.
It seems that we are supposed to believe that Unions are the reason why even working people are suffering these days. You see, workers are forced to join these associations (probably through intimidation- harassing phone calls, cold shoulders from fellow employees, a brick through the window, etc.) which suck money out of their already-meagre paycheck. To what end? Why, to make Hot Shot Corrupt Union Bosses richer, of course. Isn't that just like a Union-interfering with the God-endorsed right of workers to negotiate their own wages and working hours and safety standards on a level playing field with their employers. Insisting on decent wages, health care coverage, non-draconian hours, sick days, paternity leave, fire escapes and all of those luxuries which have made it Impossible For The Most Productive to Create Jobs In This Country. Damn them.
If only these vicious Unions, and their pot-bellied, cigar-chomping, suspender-wearing bosses (did I miss any cliches? Oh yes, limousine-riding! Sorry!) would just get out of the way, the Successful Amongst Us would be free to wipe unemployment off the map. They'd go right back to providing those awesome 60 hour work weeks in factories spewing lovely black ooze into the air and turning our rivers a gorgeous shade of gray. And believe you me, they can't WAIT to hand our children all the work they want, too!
Oh, and did I mention we'd save money as well? Because no more unions doesn't just mean no more sexual harassment laws, no more job security, no more worker's comp and no more weekends with the family. It also means no more Union Dues, which means no more fat, corrupt Union Bosses! Yay!