Monday, May 28, 2012

The best part is when Megan asks the phone out for a date

Well, these two are obviously meant for each other, aren't they?

The guy is sitting by himself (excuse me- not by himself, but with his best friend, a Nokia phone with all the bells and whistles phones simply MUST come with these days if they want to be purchased by twentysomething dickwads obsessed with technology.)  Pretty girl sits down beside him, and the guy's thought process kicks in- "Woah, Megan Alert."

Instead of acknowledging Megan right away, Dickwad naturally decides he'll "draw her in" by showing off his phone, starting with it's "curve."  What the hell- really?  Then he'll "casually" move on to video, so Megan can see that he's "got lots of friends."  I find this part especially funny- it's important that Megan know that even though this rude Dweeb is being a rude Dweeb with his phone, that doesn't mean that he isn't aware of this thing called Actual Human Friends.  Just in case Megan is the kind of woman who likes that in a guy.  It's strictly optional.

"Hey, what kind of phone is that?" asks Megan, and your reaction to the guy's "Oh, Megan, when did you get here?" probably depends on your age.  If you are over, say, 35, you probably think it's not very believable that the guy could pull off pretending to be so absorbed with his phone that he would not notice Pretty Megan sitting next to him, drooling over said phone.  If you are under 35, you probably think he'll get away with it, because you know plenty of techno-creeps who become so fixated by their stupid glowing devices that it's amazing they aren't run over by buses on a daily basis ( amazing, and a great pity, too.)   Since these people both look like they belong to the younger set, chances are he's not going to have any problem pulling off the "oh hey Megan, I was so busy watching myself white water rafting with some of my Many Cool Friends that I didn't notice you there."  Personally, I'd take this as a bit of an insult, and a window into the mind of this dope that reveals nothing good.  But if Megan is as With It as this guy is, it's entirely possible she sees this as just par for the course.

So all the best, Zombie Dweeb and Potential Carbon-Based Life Form Girlfriend.  Looking forward to seeing you in all my favorite restaurants, ostensibly on a date but actually just carrying out an agreement to be in the same place as you look at your phones.  Weirdos.


  1. Hey. I have an idea that'll guarantee full employment and save Social Security! Remember in Gulliver's Travels how they had those people whose job it was to protect distracted scholars from getting run over and stuff? We could do that in the real world for dipswitches like these guys!!

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