Saturday, May 19, 2012

It's like Corona has a camera in my house!

This happens to me so often, I'm almost tempted to join one of those PeaPod programs and just have my groceries delivered to my door.

I mean, pretty much every time I go to the store, I'm stalked by gorgeous women who are irresistibly attracted to me- or, at least, attracted to that case of Corona I'm carrying around under my arm.  Naw, I'm sure it's me.

Of course, they may just be curious to know why I've decided to pick up the case of beer before moving on to the produce section; doesn't seem to make much sense to carry that case around with me when I'm still shopping, unless I expect a rush of beer drinkers with bad taste to strip the store of it's supply of Corona while I'm looking for Just the Right Melon.  Naw, I'm sure it's me.

Anyway, while I always walk into a store alone, I never, ever walk out that way.  Nope- every single time I run to the store for beer, I end up coming home with a leggy, hot brunette eager to use her Passport to join me on whatever trip I've won this month from Corona.  Almost makes the fact that I have to drink Corona worth it.   Almost.

The thing is, I didn't know that this was a common enough experience to use in an actual commercial.  I know that being stalked by hot girls in grocery stores who say "hi" to me as if they are delighted to meet me and my beer (Naw, I'm sure it's just me, and the beer is strictly incidental) as I'm walking out is an everyday occurrence in MY life, but I thought it was because I'm exceptionally hot, not to mention an awesome listener with a great sense of humor.  Not everyone fits that description.  So what's the deal?

Corona just decided one day to take a routine episode of my life and turn it into a commercial?  Without even asking me first?  Well, that's fine I guess- I'd just hate to see Lesser Guys get their hopes up and rush out to the store, thinking this might happen to them.  Because after all, They are not Me.


  1. This sort of advert makes me think of a video that a home electronics store in my home town uses to demonstrate the resolution of its flat-screen televisions. Like this thing, the video shows a pretty girl; the problem is that I get depressed because I think " will never meet a girl like that in real life."

    I don't usually go to that store unless I absolutely have to.

  2. True story:

    Back when I was walking four miles a day for exercise, I'd leave at around 4 AM. It usually took me an hour and ten-ish minutes. I walked that early because that way there was no traffic and the drunk people were usually home. Usually.

    At my halfway point, I would cross the road at a crosswalk. I was usually dripping in sweat, my shirt had that V of sweat down the front and back. I had a sweaty baseball cap on, headphones (with a Walkman! I still have it, it still works) and a 120 pound Rottweiler on a leash. It was quite obvious that I was exercising.

    At that crosswalk, as I started to go across the road (four lanes, and a left-turn lane), this guy pulled up in an old beat-up car. He leaned out the window and called out: "Hey, get in, I got beer!"

    I didn't break stride and said: "No thanks."

    He leaned further and said: "No, really! I got beer!"

    It makes me wonder... did that line really ever work for him? Maybe he works for the ad agencies now!

  3. I don't know why you couldn't have stepped in and had just ONE beer, Pahz!

    I always figured that A) it was too early in the morning, and B) you rejected my car, not me. :>)

    1. It was sort of your car... my dog wouldn't have fit in the backseat and I could just leave him on the side of the road!