Saturday, June 1, 2013

Does it work on Eyes and Ears?

I'm never going to be a parent to one of these little human things, so maybe I shouldn't be passing judgement right and left on TV parents, but I can't help but think that the guy playing the "parent" in this ad maybe should have put off impregnating his partner for a SECOND time until he had at least the rudiments of the whole parenting thing down a little better than he does.

I think the "dad" here is a total dick for ignoring his Older Child's desperate attempts to get his attention, shrugging him off again and again so he can continue to talk to Breeder Dad No. 2.   Maybe someone was hurt and Older Child wanted to tell him about it.  Maybe Older Child threw up and now feels feverish.  Maybe Older Child just ate something that a Strange Man NOT inclined to ignore him has been offering to the other neglected kids in the Park for Stupid Daddies and Their Equally Stupid Daddy Friends Who Naturally Are Also Daddies.  No matter- Stupid Daddy is talking now, buddy.  Shut up until Daddy's Much More Important conversation is over.

Kids usually act like clueless, annoying little squeak toys in these ads (and in real life, too) but it seems to me that the little boy in this commercial is doing exactly the right thing- he's politely trying to get Daddy's attention.  He's not walking around the house carrying his sloshing potty so he can "show mommy what he did" (see archives.  Groan.)  He's not announcing that he "went potty" and then encouraging his parent to go find where he thought "potty" was (again- see archives.  Double Groan.)

The result is that the Kid in this commercial, unwilling to ask Strange Man Not Inclined to Ignore Him to take on the role Daddy is supposed to play and bring him to a restroom, stands there and fills his pants.  And because he's too old to be wearing diapers, this probably also means that his fun day in the park with Daddy is over, and it's time to be washed as best as Daddy can manage before being bundled up in the car and brought home to Mommy, who for all her faults at least understands that having a Second Kid doesn't mean that you are now entitled to completely ignore the First Kid.  And that believing that Daddy could actually manage to take care of two of his own kids at the same time was every bit as stupid as it sounded when it first entered her brain.  Lesson learned.


  1. Daddy totally deserves having to deal with this. He also deserves to do the laundry, but we all know that task will be dumped on Mommy so Daddy can slouch on the couch with a beer and watch sports.

  2. I was wondering if you had done this one yet and was about to shoot an email off to make sure. But, I see you have and I have to add something...

    I'm a parent. I have three kids. All of them are adults now (the youngest turns 20 tomorrow!). Never, not once in my entire diapering life, did I ever sniff my kid's butt to see if it was THAT child emanating that smell. That is what disgusts me most about this ad.