Wednesday, June 19, 2013

"Signed, Bored Moron Loser with a Stamp"

Dear Chex,

I've never written a fan letter before, but LOL am I ever a fan of your amazing Family of Cereals!  You really have something for everyone- I've always been a big fan of Rice Chex, and the Twins are just crazy for Corn Chex and Wheat Chex (I thought you had to be at least seventy to like Wheat Chex, boy was I wrong. ) You learn something new every day (YOU do- I sure don't!)

And when my husband Tom learned about Chocolate Chex, well, we were in Chocolate Heaven!

Anyway, as you can probably guess from this letter, I've been dead for quite some time now!  I used to get really good grades in school, and for a while I imagined I'd go to college and establish a career and maybe do something important and unique in my life.  But one day I met a guy who could put me in a house and buy me stuff and get me pregnant every few years, and he made it sound so easy, so I just said Fuck It, took the ring and moved in. Then I died, but that doesn't stop me from pouring the milk on your awesome cereal LOL!

Several children later, I'm writing Fan Letters to a Cereal Company!  I'd call that a Miracle, wouldn't you? Please?

Anyway, Tom is off to work, the kids are off to school, and I'm off to find where I put that bleach bucket LOL!  Just thought I'd let you know how much we, the Macgregor Family, enjoy Chex!  We really, really do you know!

Signed, Mrs. Tom Macgregor of the Macgregor Family ( I can't even remember by maiden name LOL!)

Anytown, USA

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