Monday, June 17, 2013

The Next Big thing is The Same Old Joke

Sigh.  Here we go again.....

This has to be Episode #47,000,000 or so in the Adventures of Doofus Daddy and his Hilarious Attempts to Actually Take Care of the Baby He Helped Make.   Ad agencies simply cannot get enough of this particular show, can they?

Each chapter shows basically the same guy- a young sperm donor- doing basically the same thing- struggling with some mindless, child related chore which naturally is extremely hard for him to pull of because, after all, he's got this whole Y Chromosome thing going so of course actually handling a baby isn't really his normal gig.  What's supposed to make this endlessly repeating storyline so "funny" is that Daddy is attempting to do something that, really, only Mommies know how to do.  Instinctively.

We don't see the other Regular in this particular episode- that's the All-Knowing In the Ways of Baby Wife, who knew how to Swaddle babies before she herself was out of the crib, we can assume.  Females are genetically engineered to swaddle babies, spread Nutella, and use Bounty paper towels-- it's why they have four fingers and a thumb on each hand, after all.  But we hear her on the phone, and she sounds positively apologetic that some emergency called her away from her natural role of swaddler and forced to her to leave that responsibility in the hands of a person who, as I've already pointed out, simply isn't up to the task.  She even sounds a little surprised that he hasn't managed to kill HER kid in his attempts to wrap a blanket around it.

And why has Daddy been so successful at wrapping a blanket around his kid, when loading a weapon, changing the oil on the family's pickup or squirting Round-Up on the weeds in the sidewalk are far more suited to his talents?  Because he's able to ask his phone for help (more specifically, he's able to ask YouTube for help, but whatever.)  The Swaddling Tips (sick of that word yet?) have naturally been posted by....a woman.  Well, what did we expect?

I'm not even going to comment on the "baby defecates/wets all over the blanket just as Daddy manages to get it wrapped up" punchline.  That's just to get a chuckle out of the mentally deficient droolers who have reached their twenties and still think that baby farts and "that's going to be a wet one" are just CLASSIC.  It's entirely predictable and even necessary here, because after all, if Baby just sat there happy and dry in Daddy's arms, that would imply that Daddy had done something right and all was going to be well, and that's just crazy talk.

I'm just going to assume that Mommy will get home before this helpless mammal (or the baby it's holding) needs to be fed.  Because if Daddy has to figure out all by himself which end of the bottle is supposed to go into Baby's mouth,  I don't give Baby much chance of surviving.  And if Daddy ever loses his connection to YouTube, that thin chance diminishes to basically nothing.  Because when it comes to Daddy and Babies- well, they just don't mix.  Television says so.  Again, and again, and again.

1 comment:

  1. Where's the ad where mom and the kids thank dad for doing a job he hates for a boss he despises, all to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table?

    Where's the ad where the kids stop wondering why dad doesn't understand their tortured teenage souls long enough to thank him for the endless supplies of school clothes and hot water?

    And not just on father's day, either...