Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Coming Next: A Force Field Which Throws me five hundred feet into a pit of broken glass
Well, here's something to be grateful for. Maybe someday I'll be in a horrible accident which takes my life, because I drive a 10-year old Honda Civic (as befits my station.) I can live with that.
What I can't live with is the idea that my accident might also cause injury or even death to people who are far, far better than I am, like this beautiful couple cruising around in their Infiniti. I were ever responsible for even causing a dent or scratch on their lovely car, or inconveniencing them in any way, I would HOPE that my accident was a fatal one, because I would not be able to live with myself.
So I am so very glad that these Far Superior people can afford a car which protects them from the kind of event on the highway which, in a Just World, should only threaten inferior proles like myself. It makes me feel better about having the audacity to share the road with them. I'm still quite certain I don't deserve the honor, but at least I know I'm a lot less likely to damage their grilles with my stupid ugly face.
It also makes me feel good to know that scientists are relentless in their pursuit of new innovations which will allow the very rich among us to live longer lives despite the fact that they are constantly surrounded by trolls like me. If it makes you feel any better, Very Rich People, we aren't breeding as fast as we used to, and more and more of us have been reduced to using public transportation. But until we are out of your way altogether, Infiniti will be there for you. Thank God.