Saturday, August 31, 2013

Attach it to your ear for the next time you forget to screw your freaking head on

You know, I can just see people ordering dozens of these to help them find their phones, which had "tiles" attached to them but then couldn't be found because...they needed the app on their lost phones to find the lost "tiles."

So maybe instead of buying more "tiles," these just became an excuse to buy more phones to use to find the phones which had "tiles" attached?

I can also see people slipping these into their toddler's pocket so they can chat and text away at the park and not worry about what Little Brittany is doing on the swings because after all, when I want to find Little Brittany (it will be a while) all I have to do is use the app on my phone, and no I won't be losing my phone because that's what was distracting me from watching Little Brittany.

I think I'll get myself an I Phone and about 100 of these things and just drop them everywhere- in the park, out the window while I drive, around the school- and every once in a while I'll just make a game of seeing where my "tiles" are and what they are up to.  Hopefully they'll be picked up and be taken to some  awesome places.

Or maybe not.  I can see this becoming depressing kind of quickly, actually.  Oh look, one of my "tiles" ended up in Vegas.  Another one seems to be living in a trade rat's nest.  One seems to be underground, waiting to be gnawed at by a squirrel this winter.  Some idiot put another one on a key chain and seems to be spending a lot of time at Starbucks with it.  Still another is apparently being used as a replacement for the letter Q on a Scrabble board, and one appears to be functioning as a poker chip.  What they all have in common is that they are having more interesting lives than I am.  I think I'll order one of those key finders that don't go off when you whistle, instead.  At least then, when I can't find my keys, I won't be angry that my "tiles" are having more fun than I am.

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