Sunday, September 1, 2013

Never mind a new phone; what this guy really needs is a better grade of friends

Or maybe just a hammer to smash the smarmy dick he's sitting with in the face.

I really don't know why the narrator for this steaming pile of cow dung doesn't just use the pitch line "just upgrade your phone every time you meet someone with a slightly better one, because you are a pathetic, spineless, soulless moron whose entire self-worth depends on how someone with a Please Punch Me beard views your phone."

I also don't know why any actual adult would fall for this crap.  I wish the Crestfallen-for-No-Reason loser who stars in all these "Upgrade every five minutes just because" ads would just reply "my phone works fine, and only a severely damaged douchenozzle or an eight-year old boy would feel threatened by someone with an allegedly 'better' phone."  Or, if he wanted to be extra snarky, he could go with "does having a phone two months younger than mine really compensate for the fact that you have no hair?"

Actually, I wish he would just pick up a chair and brain him with it.  Because there's never a hammer available when you really need one, is there?


  1. And they never show you what happens to the old 'inferior' phone in these things either. What they need is a PSA about e-waste.

    1. Oh yes, there is that, isn't there? "Update your phone every six months" isn't just absurdly wasteful in your wallet, it's going to create mountains of leaking plastic and metal junk contaminating the aquifer. Thanks, cell phone companies. You suck.