Monday, September 9, 2013

Lincoln Concierge Commercials- Because there's no such thing as Too Much Hate

If it were my ambition to be a self-satisfied, entitled douchenozzle, I guess that would include someday actually "booking" a test drive from my luxury apartment or multimillion-dollar suburban palace while my model spouse lounged about wondering what pricey bauble SHE would be picking out- with the help of a concierge (HULK SMASH!) of course.

Hey, buddy in the second commercial- do I want to punch you in your stupid-ass Rich But Dammit Not Everyone Knows It Yet face?  "Absolutely!"

Hey, "concierge" in the first commercial- did you ever want something more out of your life than a job which requires you to kiss the butts of these disgustingly wealthy, spoiled assmonkeys?  I wouldn't be surprised if the answer is "no"- it sure looks to me like you've had a successful soul removal.

And hey, potential buyers of this flashy LookAtMeMobile- I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you have no idea that there are hungry people dependent on soup kitchens for their one meal a day, probably in your own city (though certainly not anywhere near your own Cul-de-Sac.)  There are schools FAIRLY close to where you live in need of extra supplies.  If you aren't in to the whole "Think Locally" thing, there are lots of suffering people (3 billion or so, give or take a hundred million) who need the cash burning a hole in your pocket a HELL of a lot more than your local Lincoln dealer.   Oh, but using your money to make life a little more bearable for a total stranger won't make people turn their heads while you slowly drive past, so I guess that wouldn't appeal to you loathsome choads, would it?

The Age of Guillotines can't return fast enough for me.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm.....given that their agony would be over too quickly, perhaps reviving the fine old technique of impaling them on stakes would be more appropriate.