Sunday, December 29, 2013

Chrome-Plated Awful

Or "the Future of Relationships, brought to you by Electronics."

Gee, I wonder what went wrong with their relationship?  It wasn't that they didn't have fun together- hell, they are going to amusement parks and ROME for chrissakes.  So we can cross that out.

Was it the stalking?  This guy seems to know where his girlfriend (excuse me, "travel buddy"- gag-) was at every moment of every date (and maybe when she wasn't on a date with him....hmm....) I can see that getting old, fast.  Like, right away.  I can even see the "hey I was just worried about you" bit not quite smoothing things over.

Was it the Being An Annoying, Hovering Dickwad?  This guy isn't satisfied poking his girl awake for no obvious reason- he has to catch himself doing it, and her reaction, on video which I'm going to just go ahead and assume he posted on YouTube fifteen seconds later.  I can see this being a sore point in any relationship- "hey, honey? Why didn't you just let me sleep?  Or if you needed to wake me up, why did you need to video it?  Did you think this was endearing?  Hint: It wasn't."

No, my guess is that it was the whole Total Lack of Communication thing.  The "conversation" these people have is made up entirely of texts, links and videos.  No talking.  None.  A few years ago, I would have criticized people for attempting to make up over the phone.  Now I see how truly naive I was back then- discussions that once required face to face communication moved to being perfectly appropriate over the phone, and now don't require any emotional risk at all.  Just text, cut and paste, link and stream your way to an understanding of What Went Wrong and What You'll Do To Fix It.

Not that she's any better- am I missing something, or does she actually consult a website to find pros and cons to taking him back?  Meh, nothing surprises me anymore.  Depresses me, yes.  Surprises me, no.

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