Sunday, December 15, 2013

Shopping for Daddy Dearest?



Seriously, the trepidation- no make that downright Fear- in this woman's voice is simply frightening.  And then add in the panicky, "oh god let's not have another Christmas with Cigarette Burns All Around like last year, Someday Mommy will take you kids someplace safe but for now, Daddy is Daddy and we just want peace, ok?" dialogue and we are left with absolutely nothing funny here.

"We only have four hours to find Daddy a present and he's gotta have the best..." Four hours?  In a mall which looks like it has about a hundred shops but only a few dozen people actually doing any shopping?  Why do I get the feeling that every other present this woman has bought her husband has been a Nice Try Honey But Not Quite Good Enough I Guess You Don't Love Me As Much As I Love You failure?

"I need you to be a rock..." this woman is quite literally freaking out- and is begging her six-year old daughter to be Strong For Mommy during this Terrifying Time.  Again- there's nothing funny here.  It's really just sad and I'm sure there's an abuse hotline this woman really needs to become acquainted with.  Nobody should live like this, Mommy- but just because you are willing to tolerate Life on the Razor's Edge, doesn't mean you get to project your terror on to those poor kids.

Mommy looks so relieved when she sees that she can buy Daddy a cell phone (he doesn't already have one? Hmmm....) So, she's done already and the next four hours can be spent doing something nice and relaxing with the kids?

No, I actually kind of doubt it.  More likely, the cell phone koisk is just the first stop in what will be a long, painful voyage which takes this family from one upscale shop to another, running up a big Visa bill purchasing gloves, a scarf, a leather jacket, a new electric razor, and don't forget what happened the last time you came home without Daddy's favorite Tequila, Mommy.  All purchased with the dim hope that maybe, just maybe, Daddy will like his gifts enough to respond with something other than cutting put-downs or angry rants which end with Mommy applying ice to her face as she explains to the kids that Daddy Just Doesn't Feel Very Well Today So We Should Be Extra Quiet and He Really Loves Us Very Much You Know That's Why We Have This Beautiful House We Should All Be Grateful For All He Does For Us.

I know you would never consider this, Mommy- but you can do a lot with a four-hour head start.  Again, there are 800-numbers out there, the moment you are ready to draw the line and take a step toward a sane, happy life for you and your children.  I don't know anything else about you, but I know you deserve better- because everyone does.  Good luck.

2 comments:

  1. This ad gave me the creeps too, but I wasn't sure why. You put your finger on the problem.

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  2. I'm a huge fan of tequila and I think it's a good companion to any meal.

    ReplyDelete