Tuesday, December 24, 2013

This makes the Talking Bass look like a wise home decor purchase

I spent more than a minute watching this and all the time, I thought for sure I was going to see an "ONLY KIDDING" disclaimer followed by a "tired of buying stupid junk that seemed like a good idea at 2 AM but now just clutters up your basement because there's no way you would actually give it to someone or admit that you even own one?" tagline.

But it never happened.  This is a real, purchasable item that you can buy for $10 plus shipping and handling (and, of course, you can get TWO for the price of ONE just pay extra shipping and handling) and it will be sent right to your door where you'll open it, look at it, figure out how the batteries go in it, make sure it works, and then look at it some more and wonder why on Earth you thought you would actually want this just because a group of really really bad actors on television were so delighted with it for a minute and a half during a commercial.

Oh wait, maybe it's because parrots are "America's most popular bird."  Yeah, but little plastic parrots aren't.  Maybe it's because actual parrots take a lot of work and expense?  Well, ok- but I don't want the hassle of a real animal living in my house either; that doesn't mean I want a plastic fake animal reacting to my movements by whistling at me instead.  Just because I don't want the mess and expense of a real parrot doesn't mean I want to be mocked by every friend who pops into my house and then leaves wondering if I've become a senile lunatic with absolutely no taste at all.

And it gets worse.  Some people would actually buy a CAGE for this thing?  Um, what the heck is the point of that?  Maybe it's like the parrot in the coal mine thing- if you visit grandma and she's lining the cage her Perfect Polly "lives" in, it's time to get grandma into an assisted living situation.

(BTW,  I don't normally look at the comments under the YouTube videos I embed for this blog, but some of the snark for this commercial is just priceless.  Here are my favorites:

"I'm ordering a PERFECT KITTY to eat it."

"Grandma still hasn't figured out Polly isn't really alive."

"You bought a fake bird a cage."

And best of all- "Meanwhile, on the Forever Alone Shopping Network...."

And what IS IT with the Lone Ranger music?  Who the heck thought THAT fit?)

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