Sunday, December 1, 2013

"Road Closed? I don't understand- we're white and rich!"

But not literate, apparently.  Because most people don't really need "road closed" explained to them.

In the real world, lady, this means that you and your privileged hubby and spawn turn your pretty SUV around and go right back down to the visitor's center.  Or better yet, you park your fricking boat right there and start hiking up to "Glacier Point" (really, whatever.)  In short, you get a little education in Just Because You Own This Car Doesn't Mean You Get To Go Everywhere In It, Douchenozzle.

"Keep up keep up keep up"-- yeah, because it's very, very important that you get the view from Glacier Point while sitting your pampered ass on the heated seat of your SUV (note that the kids are so interested in chasing a guy on a dog sled that they are both watching their own cartoons on their own in-seat DVD players.  Jeesh...)

And naturally, it ends with these idiots wanting to be escorted to the next Off-Limits To Motor Vehicles Except Yours Of Course site. Ugh.

Here's how this commercial SHOULD end- turns out the "guide" is just a lunatic (after my own heart) who decides that since these disgusting idiots insist that "Road Closed" simply can NOT apply to them, he'll just take them up the dangerous mountain in their overpriced SuperCar and leave them there to die.  And that's what happens- this lovely family freezes to death, their SUV serving as a lovely tomb trapped in a drift, tires spinning helplessly until the damn thing runs out of gas (well, how long could THAT take?)  Because I am sick to death of reading about people like these choads being rescued from their own asshattery on my dime.

Or they are eaten by those dogs.  Either way.

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