Saturday, May 23, 2015

And an 800 score on the Loathsomeness scale to go with it

Hey, lady- I know my credit score too, thanks to my ability to just ask my credit card company.  I didn't have to give any information to Experia or whatever the hell this Let Us Plant Cookies On Your Computer To Provide Information You Are Too Stupid And Lazy To Find Yourself company is.  I didn't need any "tools" to bring it up, either- just an ability to live within my means and regularly pay my bills on time.  Stuff I manage to do on a regular basis without giving myself a fist-bump or otherwise pretending that I accomplished something worth pomping over.

And "kaboom?"  If I were this salesman, I wouldn't sell you a car on principle.  In fact, I'd stop trying and start consoling your ex-porn star husband (what the hell is with that mustache? Is it 1979 in this commercial?) for being attached for such a disgusting weirdo.  This woman should be Exhibit A for the defense in the case of There Are Worse Things Than Being Alone v. Fear.

The only way this commercial ends on a high note is if this woman is so distracted by her own sense of awesomeness that she steps off the curb into a speeding car.  Failing that, this is pretty awful, Whatever Company The Ad Is For.

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