Sunday, May 3, 2015

Meet Dale, the saddest tool in the Domino's box



I'm sorry, but there are very few ads out there that fill me with more bile than this one.  There is just so much wrong going on here, it's hard to figure out exactly where to start.  So I'll just plunge in--

Maybe Dale is actually proud of his ability to make boxes faster than anyone else on the Domino's payroll.  Hell, I'm sure that if you took a time machine back to 1790, you might actually be able to find a slave on some Virginia plantation proud at being the very fastest at picking out the cotton seeds by hand.  Guess what?  Doesn't make it worth celebrating.

That this middle-aged doofus is thrilled at his "celebrity" as the Most Famous Domino's Trained Seal (even that stupid, pointless laugh- what is he laughing at? The depressing absurdity that has become of his life?)  isn't heartwarming or interesting- it's just pathetic and diminishing and, well, gross.

That we know the only payoff this guy is going to get for all of his work is a pat on the head from some corporate tool making 800 times what Dale can expect IF he gets the hours he wants next year is predictable and expected.

And that this video will be shown to thousands of other Domino's drones as an "inspiring learning experience" which can be more accurately translated into "why can't you be more like this idiot?  Because if you don't make an attempt at emulating him, it's back to the unemployment office, prole.  Oh and BTW, you've used up your benefits."


4 comments:

  1. Agreed. Dumbest part of this commercial, though, is Dale laughing at the prospect of what would happen if--heaven forfend!--Domino's RAN OUT OF FOLDED BOXES. "No boxes, no carryout!" he chuckles.

    ...Come on. Are we REALLY supposed to believe that if any Domino's outlet ran out of a sufficient supply of pre-folded pizza boxes to accommodate the number of orders it was receiving, they would just sigh and say, "OK, that's it. We ran out of folded boxes--we're going to have to stop taking carryout and delivery orders? Everyone with either have to eat in or call someplace else, and if that means we lose sales, we'll just have to take the loss"?

    Fat chance. No, all that would happen is that chuckling Dale would either have to work his ass off to fold boxes even faster, or they'd probably get five more guys helping him fold boxes crazy-fast enough to meet the demand. Maybe even the manager would have to get busy and fold some boxes. Wouldn't THAT be nice!

    One thing I know for sure: Nobody is going to call a halt to all the carryout and delivery orders just because Dale didn't fold enough boxes, hahahahaha. Dale, you are not so indispensable to the operation as you think. If you don't fold boxes fast enough, they'll fire you and find someone who will. Because the bad thing about the manager having to help fold pizza boxes is that he's only going to get stuck having to do that once. After that, you're out the door, pal.

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    1. the moment Dale begins to slow down, he'll find himself out on his ass, replaced by a teenager who can keep up with demand. When he tries to contact the people who used him in this ad, he won't get his calls returned. Who will be laughing then, Dale?

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  2. and he probably got scale for the ad if even that... there is a local gas station chain that states in the employment application that as part of your job you may be required to appear in there ads AT NO COMPENSATON aint that e a load of crap

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  3. Exactly why the 'free market economy/capitalism' that they falsely teach must accompany democracy is not the answer. I can relate to that guy taking pride in his job. A rare quality these days. But, yes, there is enough to go around. And when u work that hard, you should get your cut. Not a little hourly wage with no benefits where you still wont get over 30 hours even working like this man just because corporate says it might qualify u for benefits or unemployment in the event they ever have to fire you. But, its already become populism & there is no reaching the dumbed down masses. Not when the rich people who own stock in every company would rather keep the masses settling for their little trickle down economics drop of life support. Hey, your kid's acting up again. Give him the tablet. Dont stay with your baby daddy cuz his income will affect ur govnmnt help, the help from working peoples' tax $ that somehow allow u to think that u dont really have to put work into protecting yourself from accidentally getting pregnant. Again. Have babies u cant afford. Let them be raised on corporate Disney & wifi. Grow up to outnumber & outvote their educated peers. Let them out number the others... so that tv, hollywood & Google can use those numbers to justify the ABSOLUTE CRAP they continue to produce (the CRAP they spoon-feed you. The crap about how everyone is good & kind, about how those making decisions have morals while simultaneously chipping away at your child's understanding of right & wrong so that the corporation's unwavering, never quenched thirst for cold hard cash becomes more accepted. Are they really fighting the flow of drugs? Or fighting everything that could possibly threaten that flow in years to come?) Anywho... my commercial break's over.

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