Sunday, May 3, 2015
Meet Dale, the saddest tool in the Domino's box
I'm sorry, but there are very few ads out there that fill me with more bile than this one. There is just so much wrong going on here, it's hard to figure out exactly where to start. So I'll just plunge in--
Maybe Dale is actually proud of his ability to make boxes faster than anyone else on the Domino's payroll. Hell, I'm sure that if you took a time machine back to 1790, you might actually be able to find a slave on some Virginia plantation proud at being the very fastest at picking out the cotton seeds by hand. Guess what? Doesn't make it worth celebrating.
That this middle-aged doofus is thrilled at his "celebrity" as the Most Famous Domino's Trained Seal (even that stupid, pointless laugh- what is he laughing at? The depressing absurdity that has become of his life?) isn't heartwarming or interesting- it's just pathetic and diminishing and, well, gross.
That we know the only payoff this guy is going to get for all of his work is a pat on the head from some corporate tool making 800 times what Dale can expect IF he gets the hours he wants next year is predictable and expected.
And that this video will be shown to thousands of other Domino's drones as an "inspiring learning experience" which can be more accurately translated into "why can't you be more like this idiot? Because if you don't make an attempt at emulating him, it's back to the unemployment office, prole. Oh and BTW, you've used up your benefits."